Day out in London with Jackie

Having missed the last planned lunchtime meet in London, I decided that this time, I would endeavour to join in and suggested to my wife that we could go down to London for the day and combine the lunchtime meal with a day wandering around London.

My wife agreed to the proposal and we decided that we would drive down to Hatfield, leave the car there and get the train into Kings Cross.

I left the house dressed wearing a baggy tracksuit jacket over my top and covering the fancy stitching to the top of my stretchy jeans, no wig, shoes or forms and finished getting ready whilst my wife drove. Other than eye make up, it was fairly straight forward applying my make up and finishing off with my glue on nails.

Whilst stopped for fuel at Biggleswade on the A1, I quickly did my eyes.

Leaving the car for £2 for the day, we bought our day tickets and joined other travellers on the platform for our 25 minute ride into London.

Once in London, rather than attempt to keep to our planned touristy itinerary, we decided to make our way to St Katherine’s Dock and have a leisurely breakfast and drink. We were blessed with sunshine and so took a table outside the Café Rouge where we took in the atmosphere, had a good chat over eggs Benedict and a cup of tea – all very civilised, surrounded by other customers. Before leaving I needed to take care of business and purposefully strode through the busy café, the waiter guiding me to the ladies. Washing my hands I exchanged pleasantries with another woman as we juggled for position for the hand dryer – all very normal and wonderful for that very reason.

Moving on, we had a pleasant amble around the dock and then made our way to our rendezvous with Sue Richmond and a number of other girls at Salieri’s an Italian Restaurant opposite The Savoy Hotel.

The lunch was everything I had expected and Jackie and I enjoyed the chance to meet up with old friends and new alike. The food was good and the bottle of wine and a couple of beers certainly hit the spot.

At 4 pm, the party broke up and Jackie and we made our way to Primark where Jackie wanted to pick up a few things. Bad mistake. The shop was heaving and even I took a few hits I didn’t expect – more like on the rugby field and queues! – wow, I reckon they should have those signs you get at tourist attractions – 1 hour from here! Trying to try on shoes was fraught with difficulty as all the seats were occupied by women waiting for friends/relatives and having found one seat, I was almost pushed off it by another woman when I reached up to try a different sized shoe!
Giving up in disgust, we decide that we need a drink and so worked our way up Oxford Street and then branched off by Debenhams finally arriving at The Marylebone having passed two pubs which were full of football supporters.

Finding a spare couple of seats on a table we joined a couple of French girls whilst sipping our beers and chilling. The pub was very busy but importantly – no football supporters! It was great to be able to sit there without attracting undue attention.

Before leaving I paid a call and whilst in the cubicle, a group of American girls entered the toilets and continued their discussions about a couple of guys who had been trying to chat them up. I won’t go into detail but it was kind of graphic with no holds barred. On leaving the cubicle, the girls were posing for photos on the sink and just smiled at me as I washed my hands, brushed my hair and touched up my face they continued with their appraisal of the guys.

Leaving the pub, we decide that it was time to make our way back to King’s Cross and we walked to Baker Street tube only to find the station closed. During the day we had found a number of the stations closed which did cause a few hiccups as we made our way across London. As there was a replacement bus service we made use of it and took the scenic route back to King’s Cross where due to the absence of a bar, we decided to take the first available train back to Hatfield.

Tired but satisfied, we headed North and reunited with the car, I drove the first leg home. We decided to take a “small” detour off the A1 halfway home to stop for a break and a quick drink at a country pub. Well that was the idea however having chosen to come off at the exit for a place called Woolley we found ourselves on narrower and narrower country roads and not a sign of any village. We blinked and missed the two houses – no pub!! As we wended our way deeper and deeper into the “sticks”, we jokingly commented that if we see a big house on a hill with a light on to keep on driving! Finally we found what we were looking for, a quiet pub in the village of Greetham (wherever that is!), called The Mermaid.

Walking into the pub, we noted that the ongoing conversation between the 6 oldish men about football at the bar didn’t stop on our entrance and we were promptly served by the woman behind the bar who commented on how it was slightly warmer inside than out. Taking our drinks, we made our way past the standing customers into what one could describe as a living room and took our seats by the fire. In the 30 minutes we were there, we might as well have not been there, even the one other woman customer (one of the guy’s wife?) sitting on a barstool facing us seemed to accept us- again a very welcome feeling. Gathering up our glasses we thanked the barmaid commenting on the fact we still had 50 miles to go and bade her good night.

I wonder if they continued talking about the football and cricket after we left!

We finally crawled through the door before midnight having made sure our youngest had indeed stayed out at her friends before collapsing in front of the television exhausted having had a wonderful day out in London.

Sales Shopping In London

Finally managed to organise a day out shopping with Sue in London. It had been touch and go due to members of my family over the Christmas period succumbing to viral infections etc including my wife. However, on Tuesday evening I got in the car, bag packed and proceeded to make my way South through fog and an amazing amount of traffic, turning a two hour leisurely trip into almost 3 ½ hours of torture.

Arriving at Sue’s I dumped my bags and we went to the pub for a couple of beers and planned the following day in London.

Up early, I got ready taking only 30 minutes to put my face on and get dressed. This is due to knowing what I was going to wear, doing my nails the previous evening and having a fixed routine for my make up (practice, practice and more practice)

Sitting there nursing a cup of tea whilst waiting for Sue, I reflected on how far I had come in the previous two years. I was totally at ease and excited at the forthcoming adventure and comfortable as Emma in a way that I had never felt was likely in those early days. As usual the weather had turned unpredictable and I was faced with being too warm in the shops but warm between the shops. I chose my favourite woollen pencil skirt, blouse and matching jacket. Opaque tights on the legs and kitten heeled courts with a ¾ length woollen coat over the top. For the first time, I went without my usual forms and instead wore my new bra from Asda with a pair of fillets. The bra worked in squeezing and pushing up my own flesh to give me a smaller than usual silhouette but not out of place. Overall I was very pleased with the result and with summer not far off!! I will be able to show a reasonable cleavage with the right tops.

Leaving the “sanctuary” of Sue’s we made our way to the train station and tickets purchased, just missed the train, having to wait for the next one to take us into London. The train ride was “ordinary” and we chatted all the way into town.

On arriving in the City, our first port of call was an excellent coffee shop where we sampled some Belgian chocolate and cookies (well they screamed at us – eat me eat me!). Our plan of attack was to head towards the centre of Oxford Street and work our way back from the Soho end. We didn’t have any priorities, so we explored the shops as and where we found them, too numerous to name them all here but including the main culprits.

A common denominator was the sheer frustration I felt in finding a dress or top I liked, only to find 6 of them in a size 8 only. The other problem was the random spread of the sales goods and that was without facing up to the odd elbow in the ribs from other women looking for that perfect buy!

Before stopping for lunch, Sue had managed to find a new bag and a couple of skirts and a pair of leggings whilst I made do with a pair of shoes (no surprises there then!) from Zara. We decided to lunch at Bistro 1 in Soho, a restaurant we had eaten at before and very affordable. On entering, Sue was greeted by the waiter recognising her from previous visits! No comment!

We both ordered the 3 course meal (£9.95) and a bottle of Pinot Grigio to wash it down with. Whilst there, we were joined by Helen Love and ended up having a lazy 2 hour lunch with a couple of bottles of wine! I could get used to this, sitting there in good company, dressed and accepted as a woman, chatting about clothes, make up, venues, music and the state of the EEC ‘s agricultural policy! Not!

On paying the bill, we first explored the nearby MAC shop before Helen left us and we continued back to Oxford Street. By now, the streets and shops were heaving and after another hours shopping we decided to have a tea in House of Frasers café on the 5th floor.

During our break, I ended up having a bit of fun with a young child on the next table to us who was there with his parents. It’s amazing where it can lead to when you stick your tongue out. As it turned out the mother and I then exchanged thoughts on taking a baby buggy complete with all the paraphernalia associated with young children through the crowded London streets and on the Tube. She then confided that she was 23 weeks gone with another baby at which I raised my eyebrows. Wishing them both good luck, we parted ways.

Before leaving the store, I decided I needed to go and so found the toilets only to end up in a queue of 7 women. I decided that it was not fair for the others there and so rejoined Sue, moving on.

Our penultimate stop was in Debenhams where we took our lives into our hands and joined the throngs of shoppers. I managed to find an evening bag I quite liked which was still big enough to carry what I need. As to trying anything on, forget it, there were queues right round the floor. We did receive a nice compliment from one of the women on a stand in the beauty hall. She asked us if we used tinted moisturiser and would we like to try some. I pointed out that I needed something a touch heavier than that and we started to chat. She asked me what I used and I explained that I was a MAC girl. She said we both looked very good (it may have been a cynical statement to try and entice us to buy – but I took it as the compliment offered). What girl doesn’t like a compliment?

Finally we decided that as it was now rush hour, we would find somewhere to have a quiet drink whilst waiting for the crowds to die down. Using Sue’s excellent knowledge of the streets of London and the fact that we had already had a quiet drink there earlier in the year (in Bob mode and accompanied by my wife) we made our way to The Mason’s Arms in Maddox Street. Walking down Bond Street, skirt caressing my nylon clad legs, the sound of my heels on the pavement, the taste of lipstick on my lips, earrings dangling from pierced ears – it could have been taken from a fiction site and certainly 3 years ago would have been only a figment of my imagination.

Entering the pub, we found it to be quite full with no apparent places to sit. Ordering the drinks we looked around and were pleasantly surprised to find a couple moving over and inviting us to sit on their table. Sitting down, we thanked them and without much ado entered into conversation with them. The guy was Scottish and a classical musician whilst the woman was freshly divorced and had just lost her job. We talked about all the regular topics such as unemployment, VAT work etc and of course fielded a few questions about our dressing. Debbie was amazed at our antics and I explained how I was happily married (27 years) with three daughters. She expressed great interest in joining us for a shopping trip the next time we were out in London and we exchanged contact details.

Sitting there cross legged with my hands around a half glass of Speckled Hen, the light reflecting off my long dark red painted nails , chatting away to “complete strangers” in a busy pub in the middle of London, I reflected on life and my decision some 30 months earlier to join the Angels and to come to terms with my dressing.

Eventually some two hours later and having consumed a few more beers, it came time to depart and we wished our new friends all the best and with a promise to try and meet up the next time we are in London.

Given the time we decided to eat in town and having passed by a few establishments which had queues outside, we ended up at a Spanish restaurant where we took a table for two. Meat Tapas and a carafe of wine later, it was finally time to gather our bags and make our way to Bond Street tube station and onward to the main station for our return trip to the suburbs.

We made the 10-15pm train with seconds to spare which involved running from platform 6 to 15 in heels and a tight skirt carrying our shopping! Probably should be in the next Olympics!

Taking our seats in the carriage, we just chilled out as the train wended its way out of the City with passengers changing at each of the stops. Finally we joined the other passengers getting off at our stop and made our way down the main street past the pubs and closed shops back to Sue’s. Kicking off our shoes, jackets hung up and with a welcome cup of tea we chilled out after a brilliant day shopping as Emma and Sue.

My thanks to Sue for her friendship and putting me up, to Helen who I met for the first time and who I would like to get to know better and to all of the Angels whether I have met you in the flesh or just on the forum for the encouragement, enthusiasm and support offered to myself since joining. May I wish you all a healthy and prosperous New Year and that you achieve all your wishes and dreams.

Having booked the day off work, I made my way to Manchester finding just how frustrating it can be on our road network in the process. A journey that I regularly make in less than 2 hours took almost 3 ½ hours.

Nevertheless, with no fixed agenda, or critical times I just chilled out and watched the scenery and the drivers around me as we slowly wended our way.

The New Union where I was staying organised my room so that it was vacant which gave me the opportunity to book in at 1030am and gave me the chance to be changed and out for 1130ish. As I was intending to go shopping in the Arndale Centre, I decided on a skirt suit and blouse, black opaques and black kitten heels. Over the top I wore my ¾ length woollen coat which protected me from the cold but was a touch too warm in the shops and the Centre. You just can’t win!
Making my way from the hotel up into town, I felt totally at ease and relaxed. I noted that my choice of clothing was one shared by a lot of the women I was walking with and reduced me to just another woman in the lunchtime pedestrian traffic.

My first port of call was Superdrug where I picked up a new mascara and whilst there tried a few different lip colours. One which I tried was a lip stain from Max Factor. Even now some 24 hours after trying it on the back of my hand, the colour remains. I think I will have to be particularly careful when I use it for real! It is a nice experience being able to pick up, examine and try out make up without attracting strange looks when you try it as a guy.

Out of the shop and making my way to Primark, I received a text message from Karen that she had just arrived at Piccadilly, I sat down on one of the benches outside Primark to reply. Suddenly this woman came over and asked me for directions to the station. I got up and told her indicating the way and that was that, not a single sign of concern just a pleasant thanks and she was on her way. I know it’s not exciting but it is such a nice feeling of acceptance in a busy city centre.

Having contacted Karen, we agreed to meet back at Taurus and I made my way back there. It was the first time I had met Karen in guy mode and we spent a short time sipping our drinks and catching up on the gossip before walking back to my hotel where she made use of my room to get ready (her hotel room would not be ready for a couple of hour yet). Sitting at the bar, I made friends with a couple of guys and spent a pleasant half hour in their company before the call of the shops became too loud and off I went again.

I made my way to Debenhams looking for a nice necklace, possibly new flats and a pair of fancy tights. Whilst making my way through the beauty hall I was accosted by a young saleswoman and I ended up buying a couple of make up presentation boxes which will be nice Christmas presents for our daughters.

Upstairs, I found the tights I wanted only to find they didn’t have any on the shop floor in my size. Having asked one of the assistants, we ended up in conversation about a wide range of topics as I also was interested in replacing my Spanx full slip with the next size down. I did manage to pick up a nice chunky bracelet in red which I was pleased with. At the Faith franchise I managed to miss the seat when sitting down to try on a lovely pair of ankle high boots! Other than my dignity I was ok and the girl and I had a laugh over the incident – just hope it doesn’t feature on u-tube!

Before leaving the store, I needed to use the toilets and followed a couple of women into the ladies, grabbing the last free cubicle I did what I needed and then discovered at the same time as the woman in the adjacent cubicle that there was no toilet paper! Luckily I had a couple of packets of tissues in my bag and was able to help her by passing one of the packs to her which she was grateful for as we afterwards stood next to each other washing our hands.

From Debenhams, I decided to seek out a jeweller’s to look at buying a silver necklace. I have till now always made do with cheap costume jewellery but was fed up of my neck turning green! Passing by Beaverbrookes I decided to risk it and popped in. I asked one of the assistants to show me their necklaces and that I needed a 20” chain. We found one I liked and I added the letter E to it. I was then offered a coffee while she then produced a pair of matching silver hoped earrings which I also decided to buy – hard sell or what! During our conversation she casually asked me if I was on my way home from work!

Paying for my jewellery, she asked me for my details starting with Miss, Ms or Mrs. At this point I realised that with my address, I may end up having catalogues addressed to Emma Walkey arriving at our home and trying to explain that to our youngest so I hurriedly asked her to change the name to that of my wife. She just looked at me blankly at this as if not understanding. Either she was a very good actress and saleswoman to boot or I was passing better than I thought. I assumed the former but she certainly had me going for a while. Who knows! She soon recovered and I left the shop feeling good about myself.

Meeting up with Karen again we strolled through the Centre, window shopping and in one shop whilst Karen was picking a top, I got chatting to the sales woman. I was admiring the white roll necked pullovers and mentioned to her that trying to stop them getting make up on them was near impossible and so for me the jumper was remaining on the rack. We then chatted about how the sizes varied shop to shop before moving on, Karen having finished her purchase.
Approaching 4pm, we entered the Mac shop and I asked one of the girls to help me. Guiding me to a stool in the middle of the shop, I removed my coat and sat whilst explaining what I wanted. Basically, I was looking for a base/concealer for under my foundation to neutralise any shadow, a replacement foundation and fixing powder, some ideas for my eyes for daytime, evening and party and a suitable red lipstick which would suit my colouring.

Setting to with gusto, the scary bit – I had to remove my current make up! She was very complimentary about my make up before we started, which made me feel good. (The more cynical of you out there may note that this could have been part of a sales pitch – I also thought that briefly and then decided no – I would go with the flow, we all need compliments don’t we) For the next 2 hours Holly showed me how to achieve the various looks I wanted and we tried all sorts of colours. It is a wonderful feeling having a professional applying your make up and one I would recommend wholeheartedly. I finished the session with the evening / party eyes including a pair of false lashes added. It was funny whilst sitting there in full conversation with Holly that none of the woman around me even bothered to check me out! The only funny looks I did get was from a mother who in between giving her student daughter some grief over choosing a suitable foundation and lipstick, looked me over a few times.

Having parted with a substantial sum (this being a woman can damage your wealth!) I walked back to Taurus where I met up with the rest of our party for the evening meal. Sharing a bottle of wine during happy hour we caught up with news before moving onto Eden’s and then making our way over to Villagio’s for our meal. We were to have been joined by two “new” girls but they didn’t show. We decided on only a main course this time to allow us to visit the Manchester Concorde girls over at New York New York.

As I wasn’t dressed for the evening, I quickly departed for my room and changed into a short dress, (and I do mean short!) fancy tights and new shoes before rejoining the girls around the corner. Passing Via I elicited some complimentary comments about my legs from a couple of business guys leaving the bar as well as some voiced suggestions which even made me blush under my make up, though it did make me smile.

At New York, New York we caught the end of the quiz and then stayed for the music, meeting up with Claire, Mary and Bev amongst others before moving on again. The others then decided to go direct to Napoleon’s but I wanted to go elsewhere, so we parted company and I walked down on my own to Tribeca and sat down with a bottle of wine. Surprisingly the place was really quiet and I ended up chatting to one of the bouncers until leaving.

I finished the night at Napoleon’s and got back to my hotel late, waking up the next morning having missed my 5-15am alarm call by a few hours! Never mind, I made up the time at work in the evening finally getting home at turned 9-30pm that night, absolutely tired!

Looking back on the day, I believe as I get out more and more as Emma, my increased confidence, experience and better presentation skills all seem to reduce the incidence of adverse reactions from those around you. I certainly no longer have any problem interacting with anyone when out these days (call me gobby if you like!). For those who still have doubts, try relating to me – a 5ft 9”, 16stone rugby player in a dress! If I can do it, so can anyone of you.

Birthday Celebrations in Manchester

My wife and I had been invited to join our good friend "Mrs Kate" to celebrate a significant birthday in Manchester on the Saturday.

Whilst my wife continues to be very supportive of Emma, she has reduced the number of times we go out together as she still feels uncomfortable. However, this occasion was one which she wholehearted wanted to join me in and so with our “story” established we left our youngest mid morning on the Saturday to drive up to Manchester.

The idea was to drop some stuff I was selling at a friend’s in St. Helens on the way and book into The New Union mid afternoon. On arrival, the room was not quite ready and so as we were enjoying a quiet drink at the bar, when who should join us but Di who was also staying at The New Union.

When given access to the room, we unpacked and my wife made her way into town for some shopping whilst I got ready. The weather was warmer than I had expected but I decided to go with a long t-shirt top over my stone washed jeggings and favourite mid height heeled shoes. On top I had my black ¾ length coat which is very warm. Ready, I made my way up to the café in Debenhams where we had agreed to meet, just another woman amongst the throngs of shoppers.

Meeting up with my wife, I sat down and we enjoyed a cuppa and some fruit cake whilst organising where we wanted to go and what we needed. My immediate requirements were a new pair of glossy patterned tights for the evening whilst my wife was looking for some replacement needles for her cross stitching hobby and some gel inserts for her heels. Ideally I had wanted to visit the Mac store but as money was tight I knew I would spend too much there so refrained. We did however spend an pleasant hour wandering through the clothes section at Debenhams, examining dresses, tops, coats and skirts for both of us. We find it very useful to be open and truthful about clothes and we both take great delight in picking out clothes for each other and respect each others comments.

However, as time was moving on, and money was tight, we both found what we wanted and then made our way back to the hotel through the crowds of workers and shoppers on their way home. Again, no issues with the rest of the world, I was taken as I presented.

Back at the hotel, whilst Jackie went up to get ready, I sat and had a beer during which Dianne came down ready for the evening and introduced me to Katherine, another friend of hers.

I then joined my wife to get ready whilst Dianne ad Katherine made their way up to Taurus where we were to join them later.

For the evening, despite having brought three different alternative dresses, matching shoes and bags, I resorted to an old favourite a sparkly LBD and matching heels over which I wore my genuine rabbit fur coat (E-bay bargain last year)

Make up refreshed and darkened for the evening, a slick of lip gloss and squirt of perfume, we gingerly made our way down into the bar and then up Canal Street to find our friends. My wife looked stunning as we popped into Taurus but didn’t see them (we later found out they were in the alcove), followed by Velvet where my wife got chatted up by a guy as we were looking for Di and Katherine. It was quite funny listening to the conversation whilst standing there next to Jackie in my heels etc!

Moving on we finally came across Mandy and Tina as they were walking up the street and we decided in the absence of any agreed meeting place to drop into Churchill’s where we enjoyed a bottle of wine between us.

It was good to have the opportunity to chat as it had been a while since Jackie had been out with me as Emma and all too soon we had to up sticks and make our way to the venue where we were eating – Velvet.

On arrival we found Di, Katherine and Bev and her wife there already and so with fresh drinks awaited the arrival of birthday girl and Kate which duly happened.

The bar was very busy and standing in 3” heels not quite so much fun as its’ made out so when seats became available, we made a beeline for them. Shirley and Kate both looked stunning and with all of us in a party mood, the rest of the evening looked like it was going to be good.

Making our way carefully down the steel spiral staircase to the restaurant was, as usual, fun, wearing a tight dress and heels adding to the “excitement”

Taking our seats, cards and pressies having been handed over, "Mrs K" handed out little badges and masks to get us in the party spirit, mine was Miss Boozy! – is someone trying to tell me something!

The food as usual was very good and the “low fat deserts!” something to die for.

As the night was young we decided to visit Spirit first where we met up with the girls again after I had revisited my room to change my shoes and leave my fur coat behind.

For some reason the atmosphere in the village early on appeared quite threatening with lots of groups of guys wandering around the “village” and there was quite a lot of verbal comment. Probably Man United having been at home didn’t help. Nevertheless, we didn’t let this detract from our enjoyment, we just were somewhat more careful than usual.

Gradually our friends made their way from Spirit until myself and Jackie were left sitting on one of the beds on the mezzanine floor. We took time to have a great chat about just about everything. My wife and I for the first time since the night I was attacked, actually held hands and cuddled. This was a massive step for my wife in accepting me as Emma out and about and both of us felt really comfortable.

(The night I was attacked, my wife had for the first time since going out with me as Emma held hands – I know it doesn’t sound that great but believe me this was a massive step for my wife and I, and she thought (wrongly in my opinion) that this lead directly to me being assaulted that night.)

From Spirit, we sauntered across to Eden’s where we continued cuddling and chatting until a young girl on an adjacent table beckoned us over to join her and her friends. She was an 18 year old hairdresser from Manchester and we passed an enjoyable hour answering questions, chatting and generally getting on really well with no unease whatsoever. Her young friends and herself were totally accepting and showed a genuine interest in us. When you think she is only a year older than our youngest daughter! We took advantage of educating them which I believe they were largely ignorant of in the first place. Jackie and I smiled as we fielded some of the standard first time questions and the fact that we were happily married with three daughters didn’t fail to impress on them that any preconceived perceptions they may have had were not necessarily correct.

Before moving on finally to Napoleon’s, I needed the loo and entering in front of another girl grabbed the one available toilet much to her “disgust”. Having finished my business, I washed my hands, repaired my make up and brushed my hair at the mirror before being joined by the girl who had followed me in. She smiled and laughingly commented that following me in she thought I was a woman but was cool about it and asked me if she could borrow some lip gloss. She was a 21 year old who confessed that, whilst she touched up her lips and I refreshed my perfume, she was trying to ditch the guy she was with.

Rejoining my wife, we briefly had a chat before we parted company and walked over to Napoleon’s. By now it was well past 2am and my wife was buzzing. We rejoined our friends downstairs for a chat and final drink or two.

Getting up to buy a round of drinks I bumped into Justine at the bar and we caught up with life etc (we last met at Sparkle though we keep in touch via facebook) and the fact that she and her wife now had a baby to look after.

Finally as the clock was approaching 4am we bade our farewells and made our way back to our hotel and sleep.

Jackie has since then reiterated how she had a really wonderful time out and about with Emma and all our friends and we have penciled in further dates for us to both go out. The fact that Jackie has been able to embrace me and allow me to engage in normal physical signs of affection whilst out as Emma is a massive step forward in acceptance and one I really appreciate.

Sunny day in Cambridge

On Wednesday, I took a day off work and drove down to my friend Liz’s house in Cambridge with the intention of spending a day site seeing and shopping in the University City.

On arrival, I quickly got ready, my favourite woolly top from Primark in off white, purple and pink stripes teamed up with a short woollen pencil skirt worn over black opaque tights and my favourite comfortable shoes with a 3” heel from New Look.

Allowing for the cold weather, (first mistake assuming the forecast was going to be right!) I wore my new black ¾ length coat from M&S over the top. My makeup was understated to suit the day and I took advantage of my pierced ears to wear my new large hooped earrings.

Driving into the City, we parked in our usual spot at Pounds Hill and I joined a woman at the pay and display machine. Turning to me she asked me to confirm the instructions i.e. at 20p per 15 minutes “is that £1.60 for the maximum of 2 hours?”

I confirmed that she was indeed correct and ended up exchanging views on the “no change given” issue with these sort of machines. No raised eyebrows – just normal social intercourse.

Walking into town, I noticed that everywhere was very busy. There were large numbers of tourists in addition to families taking in the unseasonably warm temperatures. In the process, Liz showed me around a number of the gardens behind the college facades and we spent sometime watching the activities on the river, politely declining the invitation to go for a punt ride. “Ladies would you be interested in …….” – a nice welcome feeling.

Having walked past a number of the attractions including the grasshopper clock and taken a few touristy pictures, we ended up at the Castle pub and sat down enjoying some refreshments, watching the rest of the world go by. It was fairly quiet in the pub and the lad behind the bar joined us and chatted for a while. Once again total acceptance.

Running out of time on the car park we returned to the car and drove further across town this time parking at the Grafton Centre to indulge in some shopping. Reverse parking my Mondeo into a tight space whilst wearing heels and a tight skirt whilst a number of cars and people were watching – different sort of stress!

Entering into the precinct via Next, I spent 20 minutes trying shoes on, in particular looking for a suitable pair of flats but nothing either fit or caught my attention. Further into the shop, I came across and fell in love with a jacket. Trying it on I felt that longing – but reality stepped in, I just could not justify £75 given our current financial state.

Moving on, Liz spent some time in a new wig shop and entering into the spirit, we spent a long while she tried just about every wig on in the shop. I decided to leave her to it and sat down at the café over the aisle with a pot of tea only from time to time, much to the amusement of the adjacent customers, being beckoned over to comment on the different styles and colours Liz was trying on. Finally she decided and to celebrate the close of the sale, we had a photo taken with the women in the shop, Liz and myself.

As Liz had an appointment at the other side of town, we agreed to split, meeting up later and we went our separate ways with me ending in Debenhams.

In the beauty hall I got talking to a French guy on the Smashbox stand and arranged a makeover on my eyes. He was very good and we got on well as he firstly cleaned off my existing makeup before applying new. Sitting on a high stool at the entrance to Debenham’s being made up by a guy certainly turned a few heads and was most definitely not for any shrinking violets.

I must admit to thoroughly enjoying the experience and to learning a lot including how to deal with my deep set eyes and of course ending up with a new set of eye make up, blusher and bronzer. On finishing the makeover, I had a few photos taken as a momento.

The remainder of my time, I spent looking for that ideal party dress but this time despite trying on a couple of possibles, my limited money remained in my purse.

Before rejoining Liz, I took another break and had a coffee at Costa, sitting watching everyone go by. Throughout my wanderings, it was evident that I had been noticed and just sitting there adjacent to a busy corridor was no exception, however, no adverse comments or reactions were forthcoming and indeed I entered into conversations with a number of fellow customers, one couple in particular with a very young baby.

Re joining Liz, we had a bite to eat at a Chinese Restaurant washed down by a bottle of beer before returning to her house, the intention being for her to sort out a new prospective lodger and then for us to join the Cambridge Gems on the river boat Georgina for an hour cruise. That was the plan, reality was that we ran out of time and sadly missed the opportunity to meet up with the regular girls from Cambridge as it took much longer than we had envisaged.

As it was becoming too late to really do much else, I decided to get changed, foregoing a drink in our regular pub and surprise my wife by getting back early. Make up, removed, clothes changed, I was on the road for 10 and home for 11pm, the end of another ordinary but enjoyable day in Cambridge.

In summary, various people including Liz and Johnny (the French guy in Debenhams) comment that they felt that Cambridge is not as enlightened as my own perceptions indicate. Certainly, other than a few verbal exchanges with drunks late at night, I have never had any feeling of being threatened though a number of encounters result in stares to which I respond by staring back. No one faced with that sort of response has continued to meet my stare nor taken it further. Certainly I have learned over the two years I have been out and about to turn right down my radar and as a consequence very rarely pick up adverse reactions to my presence that my wife or say Liz picks up on. As a consequence, I continue to find myself very comfortable as I carry out my business as Emma and as stated in my previous post, find it almost a non event these days. This frightens me somewhat as I do not want my outings as Emma to be “ordinary” and an everyday event. I love going out as Emma and would hate it if I lost that excitement.

24/6 - almost a week as Emma including Sparkle

Taking an opportunity, probably not going to repeat itself, I have spent the last week as Emma and just about pushed all the boundaries as far as possible including a number of firsts.

Monday 5th July – travelled up to Manchester in Bob mode, booked into New Union for the week, had my ears pierced at Claires, 3mm gold studs. Got changed, Bob’s clothes went back to car. Stayed in the vicinity of the village for the evening consuming far too much wine and feeling the consequences much later.

Tuesday 6th July - up at 9am, dressed and walked into town to do some shopping. Then at noon had an appointment at Transfixed for the application of a set of acrylic nails and a pedicure. Back at the hotel, I took my car and drove over to visit my friend Chrissie in Warrington where we shared a pizza and had a good chat before I made my way back to the New Union for midnight. Disco at the New Union on until 2am, chatted up several times and then to bed.

Wednesday 7th July – up early decided to wear longish floaty Per Una strappy dress with a lightweight blazer and strappy heels for my day out in London. Walked up to Piccadilly Station and into the concourse, feeling a million dollars and attracting no adverse stares etc. Boarded the 9-35am train to Euston and sat down next to a young woman in my reserved seat. The train was 100% full and certainly no place for anyone who had doubts about themselves. Some two hours into the journey I touched up my make up as we were approaching Euston only to see the young woman do the same. A nice shared moment.

At Euston, Sue met me and we sat down for a quick coffee and cake whilst agreeing the itinerary. You may recall from recent posts that until 3 weeks earlier when she joined me out in London she had not been out in daylight before. Now she was almost a “veteran”

We took the tube which was an experience in itself, hot, sweaty and whilst standing in a crowded car, subject to all sorts of close contacts! and made our way to South Kensington to visit the V&A and in particular the Grace Kelly exhibition. As a size 16, I felt somewhat overawed at the size of the dresses she had worn and quite envious. Whilst strolling around or sitting, several girls surreptitiously included ourselves in their photos of the exhibits! Why not ask us, it would have been simpler for them – as if we would have minded! Sitting in the courtyard enjoying an ice cream cone without any sideway looks, comments etc was pretty cool. Not really about passing but one of being accepted.

From the museum we had a stroll around Harrods, some refreshments before finishing the afternoon with a tasty meal in a Bistro, just in Soho before getting a taxi back to Euston for the 9pm return train.

The train was busy but not packed and I relaxed and enjoyed the return journey. Back in Manchester for just after 11pm, I met up with Kate in Napoleons for a night cap or two, before returning to my hotel somewhat tired out but still on a high.

Thursday 8th July – up late, organised a few things, dressed and then walked over to the car park for my car. On the way, a guy stopped in his blue Mondeo and asked me if I wanted a ride! – 10-45am in the morning outside the village! My response was succinct to say the least.

I then drove over to York for the day having arranged to meet up with Amanda, this being her 2nd trip out, albeit close to home. I stopped off at Hartshead Services to freshen up and have a coffee before arriving at York and taking advantage of the park and ride scheme, boarded the no 7 bus into York.

I met up with Amanda at the railway station and we proceeded to the National Railway Museum where, after having refreshments, we spent a pleasant and informative afternoon wandering around. As we were making our way back up to the railway station, a woman behind me commented to her young daughter “aren’t the lady’s stripey shoes nice!” I can’t begin to describe my feelings as I ascended the steps into the station, nor the broad grin across my face.

Unfortunately, Amanda needed to get away at 5pm and so, after her departure, I proceeded to walk into York where I took a stroll along the walls and up to The Shambles and did a bit of shopping before catching the bus back to my car and driving back to Manchester arriving back at the hotel for 9ish. Got changed into an LBD and then had a few drinks up Canal Street, an hour in Via where I was chatted up by a girl who insisted on calling me gorgeous and wanting to dance with me – how could I not be flattered! Luckily I was rescued by my good friend Jayne before repairing to Napoleon’s where I met up with two of the guys I had been chatting to earlier in The New Union returning to the hotel for the disco till 2am once more and retiring to bed.

Friday 9th July – up early, dressed and had a full breakfast at Velvet’s before realising just how warm it was and returning to my room to get changed. This time in stretched white jeans and t shirt sitting outside the New Union, I clocked numerous girls arriving for Sparkle and some making those tentative first steps; whilst sipping a cold beer. I met up with Sue who had travelled in Bob mode for a quick chat and a drink before she left to book into her hotel. I then I walked into town and – yes, you guessed, did a little bit of shopping before meeting my wife off her train at rush hour in Piccadilly. Walking up to the station, I thought there might be some trouble as I got mixed up with a gang of 15 guys just starting out on a stag night! But they didn’t notice me in their midst and instead turned their attention to two girls walking towards us instead.

Stopping off at Taurus on the way back to the hotel, we sat and sipped a white wine and enjoyed a nice snack before getting back to our room and getting ready for the theatre. We got a taxi to the Opera House where we saw Spamalot. What a superb show and a great experience, we, both dressed in our best. Not sure nor did I really care what the guy next to me thought as we took up our seats in the front circle. Walking back to Canal Street from the other side of Deansgate in 4” heels was something I won’t forget in a long time but again we experienced no adverse comments as we joined the theatre goers exiting the theatre and making their way back across Manchester.

Back in the village, we stopped at Edens and relaxed in some of the comfy chairs, joined some while later by the “usual gang” including Steph and Sue, Kate, Mrs Kate, Bev, Di and Claire. Whilst the others later split up and went there separate ways including Napoleons, my wife and I decided to have an early night and were in bed for 2am.

Saturday 10th July – Sparkle – The big day once more dawned hot and muggy. Topping off the spray on tan on my legs, I slipped into my River Island denim mini skirt and t shirt top. Amazingly, my wife agreed to walk with me this time (not like when I wore the shorts last year!) We made our way up the street and into Sackville Gardens where we met up with Dave and Teela and then a number of our other friends. At the last minute I had been asked by Teela from Transpose to help out with the fashion show at 3pm and so in preparation, we walked over to Taurus where we had a few drinks and a bite to eat before returning to join the other girls at the back of the stage. I had two changes of clothes, appearing firstly in a glittery pink “Abba esque” style pair of flares and top and then as a naughty Policewoman in tight black miniskirt and white blouse and a 12” truncheon and pair of handcuffs!

Along with all the girls, we had a tremendous time, once the music was playing my nerves disappeared as I strutted my stuff in front of the watching audience, my wife right there in the front row, enjoyed the show and my contribution.

We picked up a few of the acts and then made our way back to Taurus where we enjoyed a pleasant afternoon with good friends, Tina and Mandy before returning to our room to get changed and back to Taurus for our meal. We then made our way once more to Eden’s where we met up with our friends and sat outside on the boat enjoying a drink or two. Liz and Mary joined us. Unfortunately, my wife decided she needed to get to bed at 1ish and I escorted her back to her room before rejoining the others. We then made our way to Napoleon’s but it was that hot and crowded, I turned back and returned to The New Union who had a disco on until 3am.

On the way I was talking to a woman when this idiot came up to me with his fingers in his mouth feigning a “you make me sick” sort of gesture and so I dealt with him appropriately. The woman I was with was equally scathing about the guy’s attitude and I bade her farewell as she rejoined her boyfriend.

At the New Union I met up with two women from Salford and when the disco ended, they wanted to know where they could continue and so I accompanied them back to Napoleon’s which was a little less hectic by now and we enjoyed some dancing and a few drinks, joining Liz and Mary until their departure followed by myself at 6-30am when I made my way back to my room and succeeded in waking my wife!

Sunday 11th July – back to Bob. Packing our cases, we decided to stay for a while, leaving our luggage in the reception at the New Union. Wearing a t shirt, jeans and heels, we spent the last few hours sipping cold drinks in the warmth of the day and then met up with Tina and Mandy, decided to go up to Taurus where we treated ourselves to Sunday dinner. It was at this stage that I realised that Transfixed didn’t seem to be open which was where I was planning to remove my acrylics. Luckily, Jackie was able to get up to Superdrug just before they shut and purchase the necessary solvents and then re joined us where we continued drinking and chilling on the boat at Eden’s whilst I removed my nails one by one. As Mandy and Tina were going to see The Ladyboys later in the evening, I made use of their room at the Ibis to get changed in and then picked up the car, loaded our cases and got on the road finally at 7pm, arriving home for 9-30pm, the end of a particularly exhaustive but enjoyable week.

The following post in response was from Lucy - my answer follows

A typically wonderful post Emma.

So where do you feel you "are" now? The boundaries have been pushed, almost all the virgin territory occupied. On this board there was recently a fascinating discussion about where the T journey takes us ( in your case everywhere!). On the one hand there is the "whats the difference between a TV and Ts? Two years, brigade. On the other, there are those ( i am one) who think that if you take the shackles off ,it is possible for some to find a personal equilibrium short of full transition ( although for some there is no choice and it is a necessity).

What have you learned from being FT for a week?

Lucy,

an interesting question and one which worries my wife though not myself.

I have always felt that I am on a slippy slope one which starts as Bob at the top and transitioning at the bottom.

I am currently held in place someway down the slope by my love for my wife, my children and of course the need to earn money. They are indeed major stabilizing influences in my duel life.

I love being a guy too much to just give it up, especially as I can enjoy being Emma when I want to (within reason and in accordance with the jointly agreed rules that my wife and I drew up when I told her about Emma)

Yes, I did enjoy being Emma for a week and yes I do want to do it again, circumstances permitting. There are many other normal things to do as Emma, but I am not greedy, I am very lucky to have an understanding wife and don't intend to ruin that relationship with my selfish wishes.

What have I learned - well that despite everyone's desire to pass, being accepted is probably more important for those of us not naturally gifted with feminine traits.

Once you realise that most people are not by choice confrontational, then you are in essence free to go about your business as you please. I am continually surprised to find how easy it has been to talk to women and partners - strangers, I encounter on my travels and how interested and accepting they are. In some ways I feel by getting out and about and meeting people I am doing my bit to explain who we are and counteract some of the negativity we have come to expect from the mainstream press.

My friends will testify that I am a fairly gregarious (gobby) girl and so perhaps this is my destiny! My accomplishments since speaking to Alina that very first time about my dressing in September 2008 and going out for the first time in daylight (since I was a teenager) later that October is perhaps testimony to those who are currently struggling with going out that the world is out there waiting for you and once out, there is no stopping you.

Emma xx

First Time Out In London

Taking advantage of a company function which I was attending in Canary Wharf, I arranged to meet up with Sue initially on the Monday evening both of us in “bob” mode and then to go out together for a meal and a drink on the following night.

Having had a few beers and a very nice affordable Italian meal near the Strand on Monday, we finalised the details for the following evening.

To ensure no connection could be made with my company organised accommodation and Emma, I booked the Tuesday evening hotel myself and after the seminar finished I made my way across London to the London Guards Hotel in Lancaster Gate.

The hotel was just what a girl needed, in a good area, the room had an en suite, was clean, well equipped and larger than I expected and more importantly had two well lit mirrors.

I had just started getting ready when Sue arrived to get ready and so occupying the two mirrors, we both got dressed and put on our faces.

As we were going to a restaurant in the theatre area close to Covent Garden, I had decided on my LBD with the glitter (gets everywhere!), black patterned tights and my evening heels. For a jacket, I wore a black peplum style blazer.

Given that Sue had indicated it took her 2 hours to get ready, she made amazingly good time this evening, more so given that it was also her first trip out during the daytime. Exciting times!

I organised a taxi from reception to pick us up at 7-10 for a table booked for 7-30 and as we were both ready for 7pm, we decided to go down and wait for it’s arrival. Not sure how nervous or otherwise Sue was as we stepped into the lift on the 4th floor and then walking out into the reception area, heels clicking on the tiled floor.

Standing outside we patiently waited and waited and waited as various couples and groups walked by in the late afternoon sun. With no evidence of the taxi turning up, I returned to the reception and asked the guy at reception as to the whereabouts of the taxi. There was initially a degree of confusion as he didn’t relate my request from room 403 earlier to the two of us standing there in our finery.

The taxi it appears was stuck in traffic so we both sat down in the comfy seats in the foyer to wait. In the meanwhile, various other guests of all different nationalities came and went whilst we sat there demurely! waiting for an increasingly late taxi!

Finally, having warned the restaurant that we were running late, it arrived. Our confidence in the taxi service was further dented when he asked for the post code of the restaurant to put into his “tom tom”. English clearly was not his first language. Finally, having worked out where he was going, he quoted us £28 at which time Sue quite rightly told him no (perhaps no wasn’t exactly what we said!) and after trying to negotiate with him and failing, we got out and walked down to the main road opposite Hyde Park where after a 5 minute wait standing on the corner (didn’t pick up any trade!) we flagged down a black cab.

Chatting away to the cabbie, we made the restaurant Sarastro’s and threaded our way through a group of tourists to the door.

The restaurant was everything I expected (thanks Bea) and we were escorted to one of the alcoves where we relaxed with the aid of a Kir Royale whilst choosing what to eat. The place was amazing, the décor straight out of an old fashioned theatre. Shortly after arriving the place started to fill up though it was not overly busy. The service was good, the food very nice, I plumbed for the pigeon as a starter and the lamb for my main meal accompanied by a bottle of house white.

Just sitting there as two girls enjoying a chat over dinner and drinks was a wonderful feeling, given everyone around us was doing similar. Not once did we have any untoward comments or even any odd glances etc. We were totally at home, listening to a selection of operatic pieces in the background including excerpts from Bizet’s Carmen, one of my favourite works.

Sue had been advised that the murals in the ladies toilets were somewhat raunchy borne out by similar frescos in the gents (Sue in Bob mode had been here a month earlier for his birthday) so having had a few Turkish beers and the wine, I just had to pay a call. Yes, I can vouch for the décor in the toilets and have some photos to prove it. Definitely worth a look.

As it was past 11 when we stepped onto the street, we made our way down through Covent Garden looking for a pub to have a nightcap in but were disappointed to find just about everywhere was shut or shutting. After strolling through the late evening crowds (not quite more groups and couples) including coming across a herd of multi coloured elephants! we arrived at O’Neill’s in Wardour Street at the top end of Soho which conveniently was still open till 2pm and as a bonus had a live band playing.

We made our way in past the bouncers on the door and to the bar where we ordered some drinks and then finding a table sat down in the middle of the pub sipping our drinks. Yet again, truly a normal experience.

Several drinks later, we got talking to a mixed group behind us and enjoyed their company. One of the couples was squatting in a large house in Kew it seemed and was quite clued up. Chatting to Jo he said it took him over 20 minutes to work out that I wasn’t a woman finally working it out due to over hearing me and Sue talking and the fact I had larger upper arms than he did! Oh well! – back to the drawing board!

All too soon, the evening came to a close, the band were very good, (playing in the main covers of Kings of Leon, U2, AC/DC, Lynard Skynard etc – my type of music!) the pub was packed and we had enjoyed a good 2 hours of normality. So with a quick trip to powder my nose, we made our way out on the street joining the throngs at past 2am to find a cab. Within minutes we were lucky to attract the attention of one (it can be quite advantageous wearing a short dress.) – don’t ask what I did!

Back at the hotel, Sue got changed and then left for a bus to take her home whilst I got ready for bed. The end of a super evening. We are already looking at organising another evening out in London soon, though Sue is coming up for Sparkle and we will meet there next.