Sunny day in Cambridge

On Wednesday, I took a day off work and drove down to my friend Liz’s house in Cambridge with the intention of spending a day site seeing and shopping in the University City.

On arrival, I quickly got ready, my favourite woolly top from Primark in off white, purple and pink stripes teamed up with a short woollen pencil skirt worn over black opaque tights and my favourite comfortable shoes with a 3” heel from New Look.

Allowing for the cold weather, (first mistake assuming the forecast was going to be right!) I wore my new black ¾ length coat from M&S over the top. My makeup was understated to suit the day and I took advantage of my pierced ears to wear my new large hooped earrings.

Driving into the City, we parked in our usual spot at Pounds Hill and I joined a woman at the pay and display machine. Turning to me she asked me to confirm the instructions i.e. at 20p per 15 minutes “is that £1.60 for the maximum of 2 hours?”

I confirmed that she was indeed correct and ended up exchanging views on the “no change given” issue with these sort of machines. No raised eyebrows – just normal social intercourse.

Walking into town, I noticed that everywhere was very busy. There were large numbers of tourists in addition to families taking in the unseasonably warm temperatures. In the process, Liz showed me around a number of the gardens behind the college facades and we spent sometime watching the activities on the river, politely declining the invitation to go for a punt ride. “Ladies would you be interested in …….” – a nice welcome feeling.

Having walked past a number of the attractions including the grasshopper clock and taken a few touristy pictures, we ended up at the Castle pub and sat down enjoying some refreshments, watching the rest of the world go by. It was fairly quiet in the pub and the lad behind the bar joined us and chatted for a while. Once again total acceptance.

Running out of time on the car park we returned to the car and drove further across town this time parking at the Grafton Centre to indulge in some shopping. Reverse parking my Mondeo into a tight space whilst wearing heels and a tight skirt whilst a number of cars and people were watching – different sort of stress!

Entering into the precinct via Next, I spent 20 minutes trying shoes on, in particular looking for a suitable pair of flats but nothing either fit or caught my attention. Further into the shop, I came across and fell in love with a jacket. Trying it on I felt that longing – but reality stepped in, I just could not justify £75 given our current financial state.

Moving on, Liz spent some time in a new wig shop and entering into the spirit, we spent a long while she tried just about every wig on in the shop. I decided to leave her to it and sat down at the café over the aisle with a pot of tea only from time to time, much to the amusement of the adjacent customers, being beckoned over to comment on the different styles and colours Liz was trying on. Finally she decided and to celebrate the close of the sale, we had a photo taken with the women in the shop, Liz and myself.

As Liz had an appointment at the other side of town, we agreed to split, meeting up later and we went our separate ways with me ending in Debenhams.

In the beauty hall I got talking to a French guy on the Smashbox stand and arranged a makeover on my eyes. He was very good and we got on well as he firstly cleaned off my existing makeup before applying new. Sitting on a high stool at the entrance to Debenham’s being made up by a guy certainly turned a few heads and was most definitely not for any shrinking violets.

I must admit to thoroughly enjoying the experience and to learning a lot including how to deal with my deep set eyes and of course ending up with a new set of eye make up, blusher and bronzer. On finishing the makeover, I had a few photos taken as a momento.

The remainder of my time, I spent looking for that ideal party dress but this time despite trying on a couple of possibles, my limited money remained in my purse.

Before rejoining Liz, I took another break and had a coffee at Costa, sitting watching everyone go by. Throughout my wanderings, it was evident that I had been noticed and just sitting there adjacent to a busy corridor was no exception, however, no adverse comments or reactions were forthcoming and indeed I entered into conversations with a number of fellow customers, one couple in particular with a very young baby.

Re joining Liz, we had a bite to eat at a Chinese Restaurant washed down by a bottle of beer before returning to her house, the intention being for her to sort out a new prospective lodger and then for us to join the Cambridge Gems on the river boat Georgina for an hour cruise. That was the plan, reality was that we ran out of time and sadly missed the opportunity to meet up with the regular girls from Cambridge as it took much longer than we had envisaged.

As it was becoming too late to really do much else, I decided to get changed, foregoing a drink in our regular pub and surprise my wife by getting back early. Make up, removed, clothes changed, I was on the road for 10 and home for 11pm, the end of another ordinary but enjoyable day in Cambridge.

In summary, various people including Liz and Johnny (the French guy in Debenhams) comment that they felt that Cambridge is not as enlightened as my own perceptions indicate. Certainly, other than a few verbal exchanges with drunks late at night, I have never had any feeling of being threatened though a number of encounters result in stares to which I respond by staring back. No one faced with that sort of response has continued to meet my stare nor taken it further. Certainly I have learned over the two years I have been out and about to turn right down my radar and as a consequence very rarely pick up adverse reactions to my presence that my wife or say Liz picks up on. As a consequence, I continue to find myself very comfortable as I carry out my business as Emma and as stated in my previous post, find it almost a non event these days. This frightens me somewhat as I do not want my outings as Emma to be “ordinary” and an everyday event. I love going out as Emma and would hate it if I lost that excitement.

24/6 - almost a week as Emma including Sparkle

Taking an opportunity, probably not going to repeat itself, I have spent the last week as Emma and just about pushed all the boundaries as far as possible including a number of firsts.

Monday 5th July – travelled up to Manchester in Bob mode, booked into New Union for the week, had my ears pierced at Claires, 3mm gold studs. Got changed, Bob’s clothes went back to car. Stayed in the vicinity of the village for the evening consuming far too much wine and feeling the consequences much later.

Tuesday 6th July - up at 9am, dressed and walked into town to do some shopping. Then at noon had an appointment at Transfixed for the application of a set of acrylic nails and a pedicure. Back at the hotel, I took my car and drove over to visit my friend Chrissie in Warrington where we shared a pizza and had a good chat before I made my way back to the New Union for midnight. Disco at the New Union on until 2am, chatted up several times and then to bed.

Wednesday 7th July – up early decided to wear longish floaty Per Una strappy dress with a lightweight blazer and strappy heels for my day out in London. Walked up to Piccadilly Station and into the concourse, feeling a million dollars and attracting no adverse stares etc. Boarded the 9-35am train to Euston and sat down next to a young woman in my reserved seat. The train was 100% full and certainly no place for anyone who had doubts about themselves. Some two hours into the journey I touched up my make up as we were approaching Euston only to see the young woman do the same. A nice shared moment.

At Euston, Sue met me and we sat down for a quick coffee and cake whilst agreeing the itinerary. You may recall from recent posts that until 3 weeks earlier when she joined me out in London she had not been out in daylight before. Now she was almost a “veteran”

We took the tube which was an experience in itself, hot, sweaty and whilst standing in a crowded car, subject to all sorts of close contacts! and made our way to South Kensington to visit the V&A and in particular the Grace Kelly exhibition. As a size 16, I felt somewhat overawed at the size of the dresses she had worn and quite envious. Whilst strolling around or sitting, several girls surreptitiously included ourselves in their photos of the exhibits! Why not ask us, it would have been simpler for them – as if we would have minded! Sitting in the courtyard enjoying an ice cream cone without any sideway looks, comments etc was pretty cool. Not really about passing but one of being accepted.

From the museum we had a stroll around Harrods, some refreshments before finishing the afternoon with a tasty meal in a Bistro, just in Soho before getting a taxi back to Euston for the 9pm return train.

The train was busy but not packed and I relaxed and enjoyed the return journey. Back in Manchester for just after 11pm, I met up with Kate in Napoleons for a night cap or two, before returning to my hotel somewhat tired out but still on a high.

Thursday 8th July – up late, organised a few things, dressed and then walked over to the car park for my car. On the way, a guy stopped in his blue Mondeo and asked me if I wanted a ride! – 10-45am in the morning outside the village! My response was succinct to say the least.

I then drove over to York for the day having arranged to meet up with Amanda, this being her 2nd trip out, albeit close to home. I stopped off at Hartshead Services to freshen up and have a coffee before arriving at York and taking advantage of the park and ride scheme, boarded the no 7 bus into York.

I met up with Amanda at the railway station and we proceeded to the National Railway Museum where, after having refreshments, we spent a pleasant and informative afternoon wandering around. As we were making our way back up to the railway station, a woman behind me commented to her young daughter “aren’t the lady’s stripey shoes nice!” I can’t begin to describe my feelings as I ascended the steps into the station, nor the broad grin across my face.

Unfortunately, Amanda needed to get away at 5pm and so, after her departure, I proceeded to walk into York where I took a stroll along the walls and up to The Shambles and did a bit of shopping before catching the bus back to my car and driving back to Manchester arriving back at the hotel for 9ish. Got changed into an LBD and then had a few drinks up Canal Street, an hour in Via where I was chatted up by a girl who insisted on calling me gorgeous and wanting to dance with me – how could I not be flattered! Luckily I was rescued by my good friend Jayne before repairing to Napoleon’s where I met up with two of the guys I had been chatting to earlier in The New Union returning to the hotel for the disco till 2am once more and retiring to bed.

Friday 9th July – up early, dressed and had a full breakfast at Velvet’s before realising just how warm it was and returning to my room to get changed. This time in stretched white jeans and t shirt sitting outside the New Union, I clocked numerous girls arriving for Sparkle and some making those tentative first steps; whilst sipping a cold beer. I met up with Sue who had travelled in Bob mode for a quick chat and a drink before she left to book into her hotel. I then I walked into town and – yes, you guessed, did a little bit of shopping before meeting my wife off her train at rush hour in Piccadilly. Walking up to the station, I thought there might be some trouble as I got mixed up with a gang of 15 guys just starting out on a stag night! But they didn’t notice me in their midst and instead turned their attention to two girls walking towards us instead.

Stopping off at Taurus on the way back to the hotel, we sat and sipped a white wine and enjoyed a nice snack before getting back to our room and getting ready for the theatre. We got a taxi to the Opera House where we saw Spamalot. What a superb show and a great experience, we, both dressed in our best. Not sure nor did I really care what the guy next to me thought as we took up our seats in the front circle. Walking back to Canal Street from the other side of Deansgate in 4” heels was something I won’t forget in a long time but again we experienced no adverse comments as we joined the theatre goers exiting the theatre and making their way back across Manchester.

Back in the village, we stopped at Edens and relaxed in some of the comfy chairs, joined some while later by the “usual gang” including Steph and Sue, Kate, Mrs Kate, Bev, Di and Claire. Whilst the others later split up and went there separate ways including Napoleons, my wife and I decided to have an early night and were in bed for 2am.

Saturday 10th July – Sparkle – The big day once more dawned hot and muggy. Topping off the spray on tan on my legs, I slipped into my River Island denim mini skirt and t shirt top. Amazingly, my wife agreed to walk with me this time (not like when I wore the shorts last year!) We made our way up the street and into Sackville Gardens where we met up with Dave and Teela and then a number of our other friends. At the last minute I had been asked by Teela from Transpose to help out with the fashion show at 3pm and so in preparation, we walked over to Taurus where we had a few drinks and a bite to eat before returning to join the other girls at the back of the stage. I had two changes of clothes, appearing firstly in a glittery pink “Abba esque” style pair of flares and top and then as a naughty Policewoman in tight black miniskirt and white blouse and a 12” truncheon and pair of handcuffs!

Along with all the girls, we had a tremendous time, once the music was playing my nerves disappeared as I strutted my stuff in front of the watching audience, my wife right there in the front row, enjoyed the show and my contribution.

We picked up a few of the acts and then made our way back to Taurus where we enjoyed a pleasant afternoon with good friends, Tina and Mandy before returning to our room to get changed and back to Taurus for our meal. We then made our way once more to Eden’s where we met up with our friends and sat outside on the boat enjoying a drink or two. Liz and Mary joined us. Unfortunately, my wife decided she needed to get to bed at 1ish and I escorted her back to her room before rejoining the others. We then made our way to Napoleon’s but it was that hot and crowded, I turned back and returned to The New Union who had a disco on until 3am.

On the way I was talking to a woman when this idiot came up to me with his fingers in his mouth feigning a “you make me sick” sort of gesture and so I dealt with him appropriately. The woman I was with was equally scathing about the guy’s attitude and I bade her farewell as she rejoined her boyfriend.

At the New Union I met up with two women from Salford and when the disco ended, they wanted to know where they could continue and so I accompanied them back to Napoleon’s which was a little less hectic by now and we enjoyed some dancing and a few drinks, joining Liz and Mary until their departure followed by myself at 6-30am when I made my way back to my room and succeeded in waking my wife!

Sunday 11th July – back to Bob. Packing our cases, we decided to stay for a while, leaving our luggage in the reception at the New Union. Wearing a t shirt, jeans and heels, we spent the last few hours sipping cold drinks in the warmth of the day and then met up with Tina and Mandy, decided to go up to Taurus where we treated ourselves to Sunday dinner. It was at this stage that I realised that Transfixed didn’t seem to be open which was where I was planning to remove my acrylics. Luckily, Jackie was able to get up to Superdrug just before they shut and purchase the necessary solvents and then re joined us where we continued drinking and chilling on the boat at Eden’s whilst I removed my nails one by one. As Mandy and Tina were going to see The Ladyboys later in the evening, I made use of their room at the Ibis to get changed in and then picked up the car, loaded our cases and got on the road finally at 7pm, arriving home for 9-30pm, the end of a particularly exhaustive but enjoyable week.

The following post in response was from Lucy - my answer follows

A typically wonderful post Emma.

So where do you feel you "are" now? The boundaries have been pushed, almost all the virgin territory occupied. On this board there was recently a fascinating discussion about where the T journey takes us ( in your case everywhere!). On the one hand there is the "whats the difference between a TV and Ts? Two years, brigade. On the other, there are those ( i am one) who think that if you take the shackles off ,it is possible for some to find a personal equilibrium short of full transition ( although for some there is no choice and it is a necessity).

What have you learned from being FT for a week?

Lucy,

an interesting question and one which worries my wife though not myself.

I have always felt that I am on a slippy slope one which starts as Bob at the top and transitioning at the bottom.

I am currently held in place someway down the slope by my love for my wife, my children and of course the need to earn money. They are indeed major stabilizing influences in my duel life.

I love being a guy too much to just give it up, especially as I can enjoy being Emma when I want to (within reason and in accordance with the jointly agreed rules that my wife and I drew up when I told her about Emma)

Yes, I did enjoy being Emma for a week and yes I do want to do it again, circumstances permitting. There are many other normal things to do as Emma, but I am not greedy, I am very lucky to have an understanding wife and don't intend to ruin that relationship with my selfish wishes.

What have I learned - well that despite everyone's desire to pass, being accepted is probably more important for those of us not naturally gifted with feminine traits.

Once you realise that most people are not by choice confrontational, then you are in essence free to go about your business as you please. I am continually surprised to find how easy it has been to talk to women and partners - strangers, I encounter on my travels and how interested and accepting they are. In some ways I feel by getting out and about and meeting people I am doing my bit to explain who we are and counteract some of the negativity we have come to expect from the mainstream press.

My friends will testify that I am a fairly gregarious (gobby) girl and so perhaps this is my destiny! My accomplishments since speaking to Alina that very first time about my dressing in September 2008 and going out for the first time in daylight (since I was a teenager) later that October is perhaps testimony to those who are currently struggling with going out that the world is out there waiting for you and once out, there is no stopping you.

Emma xx

First Time Out In London

Taking advantage of a company function which I was attending in Canary Wharf, I arranged to meet up with Sue initially on the Monday evening both of us in “bob” mode and then to go out together for a meal and a drink on the following night.

Having had a few beers and a very nice affordable Italian meal near the Strand on Monday, we finalised the details for the following evening.

To ensure no connection could be made with my company organised accommodation and Emma, I booked the Tuesday evening hotel myself and after the seminar finished I made my way across London to the London Guards Hotel in Lancaster Gate.

The hotel was just what a girl needed, in a good area, the room had an en suite, was clean, well equipped and larger than I expected and more importantly had two well lit mirrors.

I had just started getting ready when Sue arrived to get ready and so occupying the two mirrors, we both got dressed and put on our faces.

As we were going to a restaurant in the theatre area close to Covent Garden, I had decided on my LBD with the glitter (gets everywhere!), black patterned tights and my evening heels. For a jacket, I wore a black peplum style blazer.

Given that Sue had indicated it took her 2 hours to get ready, she made amazingly good time this evening, more so given that it was also her first trip out during the daytime. Exciting times!

I organised a taxi from reception to pick us up at 7-10 for a table booked for 7-30 and as we were both ready for 7pm, we decided to go down and wait for it’s arrival. Not sure how nervous or otherwise Sue was as we stepped into the lift on the 4th floor and then walking out into the reception area, heels clicking on the tiled floor.

Standing outside we patiently waited and waited and waited as various couples and groups walked by in the late afternoon sun. With no evidence of the taxi turning up, I returned to the reception and asked the guy at reception as to the whereabouts of the taxi. There was initially a degree of confusion as he didn’t relate my request from room 403 earlier to the two of us standing there in our finery.

The taxi it appears was stuck in traffic so we both sat down in the comfy seats in the foyer to wait. In the meanwhile, various other guests of all different nationalities came and went whilst we sat there demurely! waiting for an increasingly late taxi!

Finally, having warned the restaurant that we were running late, it arrived. Our confidence in the taxi service was further dented when he asked for the post code of the restaurant to put into his “tom tom”. English clearly was not his first language. Finally, having worked out where he was going, he quoted us £28 at which time Sue quite rightly told him no (perhaps no wasn’t exactly what we said!) and after trying to negotiate with him and failing, we got out and walked down to the main road opposite Hyde Park where after a 5 minute wait standing on the corner (didn’t pick up any trade!) we flagged down a black cab.

Chatting away to the cabbie, we made the restaurant Sarastro’s and threaded our way through a group of tourists to the door.

The restaurant was everything I expected (thanks Bea) and we were escorted to one of the alcoves where we relaxed with the aid of a Kir Royale whilst choosing what to eat. The place was amazing, the décor straight out of an old fashioned theatre. Shortly after arriving the place started to fill up though it was not overly busy. The service was good, the food very nice, I plumbed for the pigeon as a starter and the lamb for my main meal accompanied by a bottle of house white.

Just sitting there as two girls enjoying a chat over dinner and drinks was a wonderful feeling, given everyone around us was doing similar. Not once did we have any untoward comments or even any odd glances etc. We were totally at home, listening to a selection of operatic pieces in the background including excerpts from Bizet’s Carmen, one of my favourite works.

Sue had been advised that the murals in the ladies toilets were somewhat raunchy borne out by similar frescos in the gents (Sue in Bob mode had been here a month earlier for his birthday) so having had a few Turkish beers and the wine, I just had to pay a call. Yes, I can vouch for the décor in the toilets and have some photos to prove it. Definitely worth a look.

As it was past 11 when we stepped onto the street, we made our way down through Covent Garden looking for a pub to have a nightcap in but were disappointed to find just about everywhere was shut or shutting. After strolling through the late evening crowds (not quite more groups and couples) including coming across a herd of multi coloured elephants! we arrived at O’Neill’s in Wardour Street at the top end of Soho which conveniently was still open till 2pm and as a bonus had a live band playing.

We made our way in past the bouncers on the door and to the bar where we ordered some drinks and then finding a table sat down in the middle of the pub sipping our drinks. Yet again, truly a normal experience.

Several drinks later, we got talking to a mixed group behind us and enjoyed their company. One of the couples was squatting in a large house in Kew it seemed and was quite clued up. Chatting to Jo he said it took him over 20 minutes to work out that I wasn’t a woman finally working it out due to over hearing me and Sue talking and the fact I had larger upper arms than he did! Oh well! – back to the drawing board!

All too soon, the evening came to a close, the band were very good, (playing in the main covers of Kings of Leon, U2, AC/DC, Lynard Skynard etc – my type of music!) the pub was packed and we had enjoyed a good 2 hours of normality. So with a quick trip to powder my nose, we made our way out on the street joining the throngs at past 2am to find a cab. Within minutes we were lucky to attract the attention of one (it can be quite advantageous wearing a short dress.) – don’t ask what I did!

Back at the hotel, Sue got changed and then left for a bus to take her home whilst I got ready for bed. The end of a super evening. We are already looking at organising another evening out in London soon, though Sue is coming up for Sparkle and we will meet there next.

"Back on The Bike"

Following on from the previous week‘s incidents, my wife gave me the nod to join my friends for Kate’s birthday last Saturday, though because of our daughter’s hospital appointment on the Sunday, I drove up to Manchester on my own.

My first port of call after leaving my car at Charles Street was Bootle Street Police Station where I completed an incident report about my assault the previous week. All in all, I was there for about 90 minutes with a PC who was very friendly and understanding whilst guiding me through the procedure.

The incident has been classified as a Transphobic incident involving common assault.

With the sun high in the sky, I made my way over to the girls at Transfixed in Jersey Street to choose a new wig. As usual I was made most welcome and spent a pleasant hour chatting and trying different styles before choosing one which was then trimmed to suit my own face.

Back at the car park I picked up my case and walked back to the New Union Inn where I was staying and booking in, proceed to get changed. Knowing it was to be a warm day and with the advent of summer, I had been applying a moisturiser with a tanning agent to my legs all week and so was able to forgo wearing tights.

Wearing the bare minimum, bra, knickers, kitten heels, T shirt and a short flared skirt, I picked up a drink and made my way outside into the late afternoon sun to relax and wait for my good friends Tina and Mandy to arrive. Outside, I quickly got talking to a pair of girls up from Lincoln who had been partners for 7 years, one of whom was a fire woman. It is amazing how quickly at ease I slipped into the conversation and joined them over drinks. Ruth, one of the girls commented that I looked better than she would in the skirt. I was made to feel at home in their company and passed a happy hour waiting for my friends. After Tina and Mandy had arrived, whilst waiting for them to get ready we continued to chat and have a few more drinks, until my friends joined us ready for the evening.

Originally I was going to get changed into something a little more dressier for the meal but frankly, I was feeling really comfortable in what I was wearing and it was still quite warm, so I didn’t bother.

Leaving our new friends we walked up to Villagio’s where the others were going to meet us. Walking with bare legs and your skirt flapping against them is a lovely feeling and one that I had not experienced since the last Sparkle. So much for English weather! I was quite pleased with the overall colour as it disguised my scarred lower legs quite well.

The meal was up to the usual high standards and the company once more exemplary I chose the tiger prawns in garlic and chilli as a starter followed by a steak with a few glasses of cold white wine to was it down with.

After the meal, myself and Di decided to repair back to our rooms and get changed. Again, for me quite minimalistic, I stayed with my underwear and swapped the top and skirt for a new LBD I had recently purchased in black and blue sequins. The dress was a touch on the short side probably 8” above my knees but the weight and feel was to die for, it hung really nice. Teamed with my favourite evening heels and bare legs still, we made our way back onto Canal Street.

Both Di and myself proceeded to visit a number of clubs heading up Canal Street including Spirit where we spoke to quite a few girls, and Via before finally ending at Napoleon’s where we met up with the others.

We enjoyed a few more drinks and a chat downstairs before much to my chagrin, I managed to knock over a beer all over Mandy and Tina. Shortly afterwards, they left, returning to my hotel room to get changed. In the meantime, I left and ended up downstairs at the New Union disco before finally calling it a night.

The following day, I was up for 10 and quickly got ready, new green kitten heels from Faith, a pale green top from Debenhams and my beige flared skirt finished my outfit.

I walked up to Velvet for breakfast joining a number of couples in the restaurant before Di turned up. We had a nice full breakfast and a few coffees to start the day after which I returned to my room and swapped shoes necessitating swapping tops before walking into town for a bit of shopping.

Di purchased a number of tops but I was disappointed to find the ones I was interested in were not in my size. I therefore made do with a new necklace before we returned to Taurus for a drink before Di had to leave for an appointment.

Walking back to the New Union in the glorious sunshine on my bare legs and arms, I felt on top of the world and so instead of getting changed and returning home, I decided to stay a while soaking up the sunshine on a high stool outside the pub where I got to talking with a number of customers and passers bys. The backs of my heels had taken a bit of a hammering the previous day and so a woman who was there with her husband, on noticing the state of my heels, kindly offered to let me have a couple of plasters. We chatted for a while as life went on all around us.

Whilst sitting there, I noticed who I thought to be Steph arrive (as a guy) accompanied by someone I didn’t recognise. Knowing Steph’s home situation, I didn’t want possibly to jeopardise it by going over to say hello and so reluctantly kept my distance. As it turned out, they were both texting me to ask if I was in the village as Chrissie (as it turned out to be) though she had recognised me. However, my phone was frazzled as I had managed to soak it in coke the previous day on my way to Manchester.

Finally, just after 3pm I had to call it a day as with a 2 hour journey home, it would be 6 before I got there. A great riposte from the incidents experienced the previous weekend.

An Eventful Weekend in Manchester

Friday evening and my wife was accompanying me North to Manchester to help celebrate Jay’s birthday on the following day.

Given the time to get ready etc, we decided that we would go out into the village on arrival without me getting changed. Due to the usual hotels being full, we booked into The Ibis in Charles Street which was close to the car park and the room was comfortable and well lit.

We decided to stop in Eden’s for a quiet drink it being past 10-30pm and were pleasantly surprised to find that a bottle of Pinot Grigio was only £6. Sipping away, Jackie and I were well relaxed and looking forward to the next day when surprise surprise, Kate and Shirley found us and joined us on the comfy chairs in Eden’s. I had no idea that they were planning to be out and certainly for them to find us without any communication was almost something out of the twiglight zone.

After leaving Eden’s we had a walk towards Napoleon’s were we parted company and decided to have an early night, returning to our hotel down Princess Street past some busy bars / clubs. I noted that this might be a problem should we come this way dressed on the following day, never realising just how accurate my assessment would be.

The following morning, we had an early start, the intention being to run over to Cheshire Oaks, pick up breakfast and do some intense shopping before getting back into Manchester to meet Steph off the bus at 1pm.

Dressed in a tight black t shirt and denim skirt with kitted heels, I was suitably dressed for some serious shopping.

Arriving at the Oaks we stopped at our favourite Brasserie and had Eggs Benedict and a pot of tea before checking out the shops. The breakfast itself was not without incident as I managed to squirt egg yolk all over my skirt!

With my wife firmly in command of the itinery, we first made our way to La Senza where she proceeded to try on and buy a series of sets of underwear whilsy I more modestly picked up a matching bra and knickers in Cerise (matches my dress) and a control slip and a pair of “boy” shorts.

Moving on, we enjoyed the sunshine as we strolled around the complex anti clockwise. Running out of time we visited the M&S outlet where Steph and I had had such a good experience some weeks before and met with two of the three assistants who had helped us. I had purchased several boxes of Lindt chocolates and thanking them once again gave them in recognition of their help.

With time pressing, we jumped into the car and returned to Manchester getting back in time to meet Steph off the bus. We decided to make our way to Taurus this being just around the corner from the bus station and bumped into Di who was finishing her lunch outside on the pavement. Joining her, we decided on a bottle of Pinot Grigio and I waited for Steph to let me know she had arrived.

Whilst waiting, I received a telephone call from Jay – she and Gwen had met Steph off the bus and were at Churchills, standing up we were able to waive to each other. Steph, Jay and Gwen joined us for a drink as we discussed what we were going to do.

Finishing off the wine we arranged for me to go back to our room via the car park to pick up Steph’s clothes etc with Steph where I would help Steph get ready. In the meanwhile, Jackie was going into Arndale to carry on shopping and we were going to meet her in the café at Debenhams later in the afternoon.

Back in the room, I helped Steph get changed, picking out a suitable outfit for the afternoon and did her make up before leaving for Debenhams.

We made our way back through the village and then into Picadilly and on to Debenhams in the late afternoon sun.

Sipping on a cold drink, Jackie rejoined us and after our refreshments, we went downstairs and helped Steph pick a new handbag and then 2 pairs of shoes before Jackie shot off to get ready leaving us to follow some 10 minutes later having paid for the shoes.

The walk back was a little slow as our feet were feeling the pinch by now but back at the hotel room, we got changed for the evening. Due to us being late we were in a rush and I managed to ladder my tights in the process. Trying to get 3 of us ready in one room when we were late already is not to be recommended.

As we were so late I asked Jackie to nip down and organise a taxi for us which she did and when it arrived, Jackie went down to ensure he didn’t go without us whilst I put the finishing touches to myself and Steph.

We then made our way down in the lift only to be confronted by a bunch of morons including one guy in particular. Somehow the lifts were not working correctly and initially we joined a guy in the lift only to find it went up. At the top, we then proceeded to go down where it stopped at the 1^st floor. On opening we were confronted by a group of guys one of which went to get in the lift until another started jumping up and down screaming that it was full of trannies at which point he quickly jumped back out again as though he would catch something. He continued to run up and down the corridor screaming that there were trannies in the lift whilst we waited patiently for the lift doors to close and continue our descent. The doors closed and then the lift went back up to the top and proceeded to come down a floor at a time until the 1^st floor again where we were once again confronted by this bloody demented scrote who frankly had Steph not been with me, I would have quite happily caught and broke his nose.

Finally the lift doors closed and we arrived on the ground floor to find Jackie somewhat concerned as the taxi had been waiting some time now. Back to the taxi, we helped Steph in the back seat where she was joined by Jackie leaving me to negotiate a low level seat in the front of the taxi wearing a short tight dress without showing the driver all that I had!

Te driver dropped us off outside Churchills and I paid him including a tip for waiting for us and we made our way to Taurus along a quite crowded Canal Street before finally joining the birthday party inside.

Thankfully, whilst almost 45 minutes late, the food had not been ordered and we were able to submit our order without further delay whilst enjoying another bottle of Pinot Grigio at happy hour prices.

It was good to meet up with everyone and have some quality time with friends who with the exception of Claire, I had only met briefly or via Facebook.

We were able to eat our meal which was very good in a leisurely manner whilst enjoying a good chat and the ambiance of the restaurant, after which, we moved on down the street. Whilst I helped Steph book into her hotel – the New Union, the others repaired to Eden’s where we joined them a short while later, before then moving onto to a crowded Spirit.

Finally, as the night was coming to an end, Jackie and I dropped Steph off at her room and we stayed down stairs at The New Union drinking in the function room until turned 3am when we decided to make for our hotel.

It was during our walk down Princess Street that I was attacked by a young guy and as I have already posted about this incident won’t dwell further on it here, suffice to say it upset both myself and Jackie though physically I was not hurt.

I finally got to bed at turned 4-30am very much sober and with a lot to reflect on.

Transphobia - a first hand account

Well, it had to happen I suppose, after being out and about an increasing number of times and pushing the boundaries this last 24 months, I was faced with an unpleasant situation.

Having spent the day shopping with my wife and later with Steph, we joined some friends to celebrate Jay’s birthday at Taurus.

Following the meal we spent the rest of the evening around Canal Street before my wife and I called it a night and began walking back to our hotel, The Ibis in Charles Street.

At approximately 3-30am on our way back, a guy broke away from a small group and hit me in the face, pulled my wig off throwing it on the floor before running way back to his mates. Before I could react, the bouncer from the club/pub on the corner of Princess Street and Bombay Street caught him and pinned him to the bonnet of an adjacent car. Accompanied by my wife, I decided that I would get her safely back to the hotel (about 100m) and then I got changed and went back looking for the person.

Luckily for both of us, he was nowhere to be found despite me searching well up into town.

On advice from my friends on Facebook, and those who we were out partying with last night, I have filed a report with Greater Manchester Police as a transphobic incident / assault.

I don’t know what was wrong this weekend but this was one of several incidents which I was involved in on an otherwise great day out. On the short walk after the assault, a bunch of lads hanging out of a car screamed abuse at my wife and I.

Earlier in the day, back at the hotel, a young lad went beserk when he went to get in the same lift that me and Steph were in, running up and down the corridor screaming at the top of his voice that he wasn’t getting in a lift with a bloody tranny! Had I not had Steph with me who you may know is blind, I was certainly up for demonstrating the art of free fall down a lift shaft from the 4th floor on this individual.

All in all, a strange kind of day full of highs and then a couple of lows. Thankfully I was not hurt physically and it will not stop me going out but it has taken the edge off what was a wonderful day accompanied by my wife for the first time in a while as she has been adjusting to our relationship since disclosure about Emma 13 months ago.

Despite the experiences this weekend, it is still far better to go out in the world and be yourself than hide behind doors afraid of the odd comment. This is one negative incident I have had in almost two years of going out.

I am already planning to return this Saturday to celebrate another girlfriend’s birthday, but will try and get accommodation in the village as I usually do.

Another day on, I have found time to reflect a little on the events.

Not in any particular order.

1) I have always believed that in any confrontation there is usually a normal order of escalation beginning with visual recognition, verbal exchange and then on the rare occasion, violence. I have much experience in dealing with verbal and give as good as I get as those who know me know and I also believe that I have a good understanding of risk and interpretation of risk. What I was unable to recognise in this instance was the totally unprovoked attack without any prior indication verbal or otherwise.

2) Complacency - perhaps I am guilty of such, tempered by the fact that I was far from sober, bearing in mind that over the last 2 years I have made these late night walks back to my car or hotel (with due caution I must add) in several cities / towns in addition to Manchester without any problems.

3) Funnily enough I had made that same walk in Bob mode on the Friday night with my wife at a slightly earlier time when it was busier and even then I recognised that it may be a problem when dressed the following night. So why did I walk that way? Don't know, I guess I was just exercising my right to go where I wanted dressed as I wanted with any inhibitions (and common sense for that matter) lowered due to alcohol.

Don't get me wrong, I am no martyr to the cause but I do feel quite strongly about the right to go about safely on our streets at any time of the day or night dressed or otherwise. I was no threat to anyone.

4) You know what upset me most about the assault was the fact that I didn't get a chance to retaliate - probably my bloke conditioning kicking in I'm afraid.

5) My wife was very upset about the incident but was more upset about me getting changed and leaving her to go look for the little scrote. For that course of action I deeply regret leaving my wonderful wife with the uncertainty of my well being foremost in her mind until my safe return. She told me that she had never seen me so mad before.

6) Physically I suffered no actual harm but I must admit that mentally today, the incident was foremost in my mind distracting me from work.

I have as stated submitted a report to the police and today had a nice chat with a PCW from the Bootle Street Police Station. She wanted me to file a report and was all for organising a PC to come and visit me at home to take a statement! I pointed out that would not be a good idea as I not only know quite a few PCs in the area through my rugby and other hobbies but my youngest would be home. We have therefore agreed that I will come into Manchester on Saturday lunchtime to complete the paperwork.

I am intending to help celebrate another girlfriend's birthday that night in the village but this time will be driving as I am staying at the Travelodge in Warrington.

Moving onwards, we will see this Saturday whether the incident has effected my confidence although the verbal onslaught in the hotel mid afternoon has changed the way I choose where to stay as Emma for the moment. Funnily enough I have just received an e-mail asking me to rate my stay at The Ibis. I will complete this later.

BNO - March 2010

On Friday the 12th March, I joined my girlfriends Tina, Mandy and Justine at Pink Punters for the monthly BNO. Luckily I was able to share a room with Justine at the Premier Inn some 3 miles from PPs as the Camponile was fully booked.

Taking a half day off work I managed to finally find the hotel after missing it twice. Arriving late, I joined Justine in her room to get ready.

We had booked a table for 6pm at Les Igunados – a Mexican style Restaurant in the Hub (Milton Keynes) and so we dressed on the conservative side for our early evening foray into town. I chose to wear my new red top over my jeggings and a pair of mid height heels as I was driving.

I must admit that the meal was very good as we sat in the window watching the world go by. Apart from a few strange looks from the woman on the next table, we were accepted without an upturned eyebrow.

On the way back to the car we took a few photos in front of the fountain in the square and on arriving back at the hotel, decided to have a drink in the adjoining pub/restaurant. Sitting on a settee with the others, it seemed way too normal and so drinks finished we repaired to our rooms to get changed for the night.

Eventually after ruining three pairs of tights, I finally was ready wearing my short sequined black dress with a golden lightening down the front, black fishnets and 4” heels and my animal print jacket over the top fresh from it’s outing in Leeds the previous week.

We organised a taxi to the Camponile and arriving there mid evening, settled down for a drink or two. Unfortunately, Justine realised that she had misplaced her camera and worried that she had left it in the taxi. As it was, it was found on our return to the room much later.

As 11pm approached, we made our way across the road to PPs and soaked up the atmosphere with yet another drink. I was in catch up mode having been driving earlier but initially I just didn’t seem to spark and it took me resorting to Vodka Red Bulls to get me going just after midnight.

Once started you couldn’t keep me down as we socialised and then ended up dancing. Whilst dancing, I couldn’t help but notice a skirt worn by a girl next to – short flared black skirt with a skull and cross bones in white and intrigued to know where she got I from, I asked her.

Having introduced myself, I ended up dancing with her (the skirt had been purchased off E-Bay) and during the course of the conversation, it became apparent that she was more than interested in dancing having ascertained that she lived close to my hotel. Happily married, I chose to take a break from the dancing for a drink. I didn’t bother getting up again until the girl (a South African) started to leave and gave me a goodnight “kiss” . I was somewhat taken aback as were my girlfriends.

It was now past 3am and my feet (still recovering from the blisters I got out and about in Leeds and Manchester earlier in the month) were throbbing. Sitting down, the remaining hours passed quickly in front of an open fire out in the smoker’s area (not that I or my friends are smokers) and at just after 5pm we called for a taxi, arriving back at 5-30am. A quick chat with Justine as we got ready for bed and I was away as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Sadly, this turned out to be Justine’s last night out for the foreseeable future as her wife on her return gave her an ultimatum. (her post in the Angels forum refers). I wish both Justine and her wife well and that they resolve these current differences amicably.