Giz a Job!

Well, the threatened redundancy happened earlier today. All in all a pretty eventful day in my life!

My director came out this lunchtime with the letter that I am to attend a meeting next Friday to discuss the terms and conditions of my redundancy.

This is the first time I have ever been made redundant and I have been working since 1981.

I have a 2nd interview with one company week commencing 20th April, so wish me luck.

I may soon be asking you send me red cross parcels!

Love

Emma xxx

The Deed Is Done!

Last night or more accurately in the early hours of this morning, I finally told my wife about Emma.

She currently feels as though she has been hit by a 20t truck – her words.

It was obvious that had I continued, my wife had already jumped to the conclusion that I was having an affair and was distraught. We finally got to sleep at 5-30am and was up again at 6-30am for work.

I don’t really know what I feel at the moment.

I do know that we will develop the scenario a small step at a time with my commitment that at any time my wife is uncomfortable, I will stop and we will re group.

After 2 bottles of wine, a 4 hour discussion and 1 hour of sleep I am tired and sad. I thought that I would be happier but at the moment this eludes me.

As we all know, there is no turning back but I do believe that not only was coming clean with my wife the only correct action, I think that given time, space and a better understanding of who Emma is, our marriage will survive and perhaps in time, my time as Emma may be embraced as a real part of our relationship.

Softly, softly is the key for the moment and the establishment of a set of rules, one of which is the absence of Emma in the bedroom. The children are not to know being another. I have already stated that my dressing will only occur outside our locale and that from now on, no more lies!

Thank you all who have given me sage advice and encouragement, without this and my good friends, I would not be in this position now.

In time I hope that my wife will meet you all.

Love

Emma xxx

Backwards In Heels - A Night Of Dancing (part 2)

Back at the apartment, controlled mayhem ensued as we three girls all manoeuvred around the available mirrors touching up make up and stepping out of jeans, skirts etc and putting on our best frocks. Of course, as I was still deciding which dress to wear, I had to try on 3 different dresses before reverting back to my new black one and the chance to wear my new animal skin effect jacket from Roman Originals!

Finally, we were all ready and looking the part, we departed for Trebica where everyone was meeting for pre dance drinks. On the way through the early evening pedestrian traffic we saw Kate and Mrs. Kate, Karen and Diane on the other side of the road making their way to the Shang Hi and so changed direction and joined up for the short walk to the venue.

Not having to drive for a change, I was able to join the other girls for a glass of wine before making our way downstairs to start the evening of dancing.

Once more I partnered Tina as June re-visited the dances we learned at the first dance evening in January. Staring with the social foxtrot this time, remarkably most of the steps came back once the music started and even the new girls quickly caught on.

I am still waiting for a chance to try this dance out with my wife one night and surprise her with my new found knowledge! Just hope I remember to lead that’s all!!

Following on from the Social Foxtrot we had a go with that “German dance!” – A Yearning Saunter! – well, this caused some consternation in the ranks as we all gamely tried to follow in June’s precise footsteps. I for one struggled to get a feel for the rhythm of this dance and when attempting the crossover steps managed to swap seamlessly between the male steps and female steps much to the confusion of poor Tina.

Soon enough, we stopped for our meal and having repaired our make up climbed the stairs and joined the restaurant’s other guests to enjoy our meal. This time, due to not wearing my corset, I was able to enjoy somewhat more of the excellent cuisine on offer.

We must have caused somewhat of a stir with the other diners as we all walked up to the counter in our finery to help ourselves to the fine selection of Chinese food on offer.

Suitably filled and having enjoyed a good chat with the girls on our table we returned to the dance floor for the second session.

Kicking off with a return of the barn dance to Bring It All Back by S Club 7 Tina we all got in the swing of this energetic dance, made more interesting by the 4” heels I was wearing! We spent most of the time trying not to over run the couple in front of us and to avoid spinning into the couple to our side, but what fun. Unfortunately the song still is ringing in my ears several days afterwards and I doubt I will ever be able to listen to the song without bursting into a wide grin as I remember what I was wearing whilst dancing the last time I heard the song.

As the clock approached midnight, it was time for us to disperse and Tina, Mandy and I trotted back to our apartment (a mere 2 minutes away) and got changed for a close encounter of the Napoleon’s kind!

At last I got a chance to wear my glittery dress which fitted where it touched and teamed it with my white shoes embellished with metalwork. Walking back through the foyer, I felt a million dollars as we met a number of guests returning just as we were going out again!

Back at Napoleon’s, Tina was afforded the ultimate accolade when she was initially asked to pay to get in! Wow! Good on you Tina.

Inside, we met up with most of the other girls and ended upstairs by the dance floor. I joined Kate, Mrs Kate and Karen on the dance floor for a boogie until my toes told me that they were no longer functioning! Why do beautiful shoes have to hurt so much!

I decided to have another drink and sit down. Adjacent to me, I got chatting to a girl (gg) from North Wales, a nurse over with a gang of friends visiting the village for the first time. We got on really well and before you know it, I was invited back to her hotel! – as I explained at the time – I am happily married and although flattered, sadly declined the kind offer! Although I did invite her back to look us up at Sparkle in July!

I am not sure about Saturday but my bottom was fondled or pinched so many times and two men were very complimentary about my new jacket! I even had a proposal from a guy who was with a girl just leaving one of the toilets! I guess it must be Saturday nights!

Re joining Mandy and Tina, we gradually made our way downstairs as they closed off the top floor and several drinks later decided at 5-30ish to return to our apartment after having several piccies taken.

Heels ringing, we made our way through the foyer past a bored guy half asleep on reception and back to our apartment bringing to an end a superb day spent with a great bunch of girls and in particular my girlfriends, Tina and Mandy.

Emma xxx

Article for Magazine

Backwards in High Heels – Another Dance Night with the Northern Angels – Emma Walkey

After the success of the inaugural dance evening in January organised by Lisa, the group of girls welcomed back June from Ireland, a qualified dance instructor for another entertaining evening at the Shang Hi Restaurant in Manchester.

With 19 girls attending in their prettiest party frocks and heels, June certainly had her hands full once more. Whilst there were quite a few of us attending for the second time, we also had a number of new faces – testimony to the fun we all had the first time.

Emma rarely gets out at weekends due to family circumstances and even forsook her rugby to attend, booking into a local hotel with Tina and Mandy, such was the attraction of the evening and the memory of the fun I had on the first occasion.

The Restaurant made available a special downstairs room which was equipped with sound, a dance floor and bar.

Once more, we paired off into partners, one playing the male role; I teamed up with Tina and a number of the girls renewed their previous partnerships. For the evening we were lucky to have join us a number of partners who fancied chancing their feet in the sequence dancing to come.

June started us off with the “social foxtrot” and having shown us the basic steps watched us massacre them! After a few re starts, it became apparent that there was a vast improvement testament to the fact that we didn’t have as many girls stopped on the dance floor scratching their heads or massaging bruised toes. June’s Irish banter and goodwill permeated the group and we were all moving around the dance floor generally in the right direction with broad grins on our faces.

We then moved onto A Yearning Saunter, which involved us getting to grips with our partners and moving around the room in an ordered manner, ladies backwards guided by their partners (not sure how many held driving licences!) Again, June took one of our unsuspecting group and demonstrated the new steps – easy really! We then demonstrated our interpretation of the steps.
With guidance from June on how to undertake a crossover with the immortal words “kill a wasp and now kill a fly!” we all attempted the intricate steps!
At this point I was reminded of the famous Morecombe & Wise sketch with Andre Previn where a piece of classical music was massacred with the immortal words “ all the right notes but not necessarily in the right order” and this best described my attempts in following in June’s footsteps – all the right steps but not necessarily in the right order!

Having worked up an appetite, we then had a break for our food. Trooping upstairs to the main restaurant, we took up our table and joined the Restaurant’s other customers at the buffet. Once again the food was plentiful and very tasty and we all ate our fill washed down with drinks from the bar and were well served by the wonderful staff.
Having sated our appetite, we all returned to the dance floor to re visit the barn dance to the tune “Bring It All Back” by S Club Seven. This involved synchronised spinning amongst other new steps and the ladies twirling!

I must admit both Tina and myself quite enjoyed this routine as 10 couples rotated around the floor almost all in step! trying to avoid kicking the couple in front or running them down in our eagerness. Even now some 24 hours afterwards I still have that tune in my head and a smile on my face as I remember the fun we had.

All too soon, the evening came to an end and we bade each other farewell with a number of us going on into the village and ending at Napoleon’s where unfortunately or should that be fortunately! we did not get a chance to use our newly acquired skills.

All in all a superb fun evening and I for one am looking forward to the next instalment. (am already looking for a new dress!) Well done Lisa for organising another superb evening and to June who really believes she can make dancers out of us all and without whom the evening would not have been possible.

No Bottle

Once again, I failed in what is on paper a relatively simple task. Telling my wife about Emma.

Every minute of each passing day I have this task impacting on my every activity.

During my 1 hour drive to work and home again, I am going through a possible dialogue in my mind endeavouring to persuade myself that this is the night that I come clean!

Since returning from my weekend in Manchester, every night we have had an “early night” despite the fact that our three daughters are currently all at home for Easter. Every night I have manoeuvred the conversation towards this goal only to falter.

Yesterday morning I even advised my wife that there was something I wanted to discuss last night, this being on the back of a brief discussion as to why she had thought I was having an affair. Even when I asked her why she thought that, she backed off completely apologising in tears as to her even mentioning this!

I am at a loss as to how to handle this situation. I know in my heart that this will not be the end of our marriage but am scared stiff that I will disappoint my wife and feel that I have let her down in some way.

I love my wife dearly but know that I cannot for my sanity lose Emma. Yet this continuing deceit is piling pressure on my every waking moment and whilst my times as Emma are a great stress relief, the current situation is countering the benefits.

I desperately want my wife to know about Emma in the hope that she can accept her and join her out and about with my good friends.

Am I being unrealistic or selfish in what I strive for? I don’t know anymore, all I know is that Emma is an integral part of my life and will not go away.

My best mate is coming around tonight for tea (his wife and daughter are away on a girly weeks’ holiday down in Cornwall) and on Saturday, my father in law and his wife are staying with us until Monday. I believe it is in the best interests to put off disclosure until after they depart.

All I have to say is:-

“You know those knickers and the cosmetics you found, well they are actually mine. I am a cross dresser.”

Oh well, therapy over for this morning – back to work.

Emma xxx

Backwards In Heels – A night of Dancing (part 1)

Wow! What can I say! Lots according to all my friends!

Only my second outing as Emma on a Saturday started with my case and overnight bag packed in the boot of the car and nervously waiting my wife’s return after having used the car to run our daughter’s boyfriend home and picking up some cash for my weekend away “at my mate’s stag do in Manchester!”

Waving goodbye, I must admit to pangs of guilt as to having told yet another lie as to my true intentions, I parked up in town and darted over to Roman Originals to pick up my new animal print jacket. Luckily no one in the shop knew me and I also managed to get back to the car without bumping into anyone else.

On the road, the adrenalin coursing through my veins I drove up to Mandy’s arriving short of midday. A cup of tea and bacon and egg butty later, we departed via the local Asda where I picked up a pair of ladies sunglasses for when I’m driving and then on into Manchester.

We arrived at where the car park was supposed to be but couldn’t initially see it until Mandy pointed out the huge letters NCP in bright yellow on the side of the building we were approaching. That’ll be the car park then I noted!

Out of the car park on a 50:50 decision, we of course chose the wrong direction initially until we realised our error and then found our way to The Atrium where we were booked in for the night.

Wow again. I was over the moon about the apartment. One bedroom with twin beds, a large living room and dining room fully equipped and more importantly – plenty of mirrors!

By now, we were under pressure for time as we were picking up Tina from a pub car park near to where she lives at 4ish and it was now past 2-30pm. Whilst Mandy put on her face first, I always dress first. I had already an idea in mind as to my overall outfit this being my tight stretch jeans tucked into knee high boots with stiletto heels and a suitable top. The top I chose was one I had recently purchased on e-bay and looked great.

Face on, wig in place but no time for my nails we were ready together and with a spray of perfume, grabbed my jacket and made our way to the lift.

Our first attempt to get to the ground floor failed miserably and as the door opened on the 1st floor, a cleaner was waiting to go up! Finally we got to the ground floor to walk into a family waiting to go up! – Talk about baptism of fire!

Strolling out through the concourse, heels tapping, there was no one on reception but the foyer was full of guests coming and going.

Outside we made our way round the corner to the car park only to run into a gang of young girls! To say we were s….ing bricks is probably an understatement however as I had told Mandy before setting out – if in doubt tits out, arse out, eyes level, head high and full speed ahead!

Once in the car and having paid the £5.20 extortionate fee for less than 2 hours! We made our way through the city and out to pick Tina up which after a typical blonde moment on the slip onto the motorway when I almost ended up in a bus lane and had to let a gentleman driver behind me let me back in, we picked Tina up.

Back at the apartment, whilst waiting for Tina to get ready, we cracked open a bottle of champagne and tucked into a Melton Mowbray pork pie – now that’s what I call a classy start to the day!

By the time Tina was ready and with my nails painted etc, it was now past 6pm and so we made our way out and into the village where we mingled with a good cross section of the public on our way to the Taurus bar where we had a quiet drink – well it would have been had we not attracted the attention of a guy (from Salford – with his boyfriend) who insisted on chatting us up despite me accidentally elbowing him twice as he leaned over towards our table.

Despite our best endeavours from the book of The Art Of Wit And Repartee, such as f…off, he obviously couldn’t take a hint and christened me a “gobby slut”, Tina a “slut” and Mandy “sophisticated”! Well I say! I mean! I can’t believe he had the nerve to call me gobby! Anyway, all good things must come to an end and we “reluctantly” made our way back to the apartment to get changed into our party frocks for the dancing. (next instalment to follow soon)

Emma xxx

Wardrobe Purge

Yesterday, I spent an enjoyable day over at Teela’s taking the opportunity to dress whilst sorting out my existing wardrobe and having my arms waxed.

Out went all my size 24 jackets and tops including some heavy duty 44D bra’s from my heavier days, my size 20 and 18 skirts and a couple of pairs of shoes and a gorgeous pair of boots which unfortunately I couldn’t wear because I have a high instep.

Finally I got my hands on a foundation that matched completely my skin colouring courtesy of Teela. What a difference it makes!

I dressed in jeans and knee high boots until near the end of the afternoon when I changed into one of my new skirts and blouse to try on a new jacket that Teela had bought for herself and matching shoes. The shoes with 5” heels were too much of a struggle for my poor ankles but the jacket was gorgeous – must have!

A picture of me wearing the new jacket and skirt is in the gallery.

Whilst there I met Louise from the midlands and got on well, hopefully we will meet up and perhaps have a drink. Later Mandy came by and we exchanged plans for the coming weekend.

After getting changed and loading the car once more, I dashed over to Cheshire Oaks with a view to buy the same jacket that Teela had let me try on.

I strode into the shop and found the rack only to my find to my dismay that they did not have one in my size. Undaunted I went to the two young girl assistants at the counter and asked them if they had the jacket in a 20.

Whilst one of the girls went out back to check, the other one asked me if it was for my wife to which I answered no it was for me and I wanted it to go out in this Saturday in Manchester. Well I think it is fair to say she was speechless and didn’t know what to say so I helped her by continuing and telling her I had seen a pair of shoes to match.

On her return, the other girl seemed unfazed by my admission but unfortunately since it was in the sale, the answer was no. Helpfully she suggested we could ring some of the other stores up and down the country. Where was the nearest? Well I suggested Leicestershire and she promptly gave me the list of shops to find one nearest to me as she was not sure where Leicestershire was!

Lo and behold there is a shop where I live! I now have to check if they have one in my size and if so, how to get in and out without being checked out by any of my friends!

On my way home, I finished a great day by meeting up with Tina and his wife in Stockport and had a drink and a bite to eat. As usual, the crack was vicious and I am looking forward to this weekend. Tina, myself and Mandy are sharing accommodation in the Atrium – now that will be an experience – I hope there are enough mirrors!

Roll on the weekend!

Today I attended a job interview over near Birmingham. It went very well and it seems that if I get offered the post, it will involve me visiting Newcastle, Birmingham, Portsmouth and the Wirral and staying over!

Could be interesting!

Fingers crossed.

As Teela goes into hospital on Friday for her ankle operation, I would just like to wish her the best and a speedy recovery

Emma xxx