Whilst pounding the rubber at the gym earlier this evening, I had time to reflect on today which would have been my mum's 76th birthday had she been still with us.
All through my life, my mum was there for me even more so after my younger brother's untimely death. She always said that it should have been me and not my brother.
That comment might seem a little harsh but what she meant was that it was me who took all the risks - swimming in disused quarries, climbing trees, swinging on home made rope swings across rivers, disappearing to the coast (Southport) for the day on my bike at the age of 11 etc. My brother in the meanwhile would sit in and read or watch television.
I was the one who played sport, rugby, squash, fencing (epee, foil and sabre) my brother played snooker, tennis (I never did get a chance to beat him) although I was better at squash and always beat him at darts.
Unfortunately on his last day of his first year at Bangor University, two weeks before my finals, he was involved in a bicycle accident which resulted in his death.
My mum never had any worries about my brother, it was always me!
Losing my dad 10 years ago, was the beginning of the end for my mum and I think that when she died almost 4 years ago now, it was really due to her deciding to die. She was worn out and despite my best endeavours and her grandchildren, felt that enough was enough.
I still miss her. She was always there to tell me what I should do - usually after I had done the opposite! She was a very strong willed woman and there were not many people I remember who ever crossed her!
I often wonder whether she suspected anything of my dressing which I started at the tender age of 13. After all, I was wearing her clothes and shoes until my feet outgrew the size 5s my mum wore. I think mum's always know.
I can remember a few close calls when my parents returned unexpectedly and I had to pretend that I was taking a shower (with all the doors locked!) and I didn't hear them!
Anyway, I for one will drink a toast tonight to both my parents for teaching me what is right and to be the person I am today and to wish my mum a happy birthday wherever she is.
Thank you mum and dad.
4 years ago