Monday, 23 February 2009

Normal Service is Resumed

Finally, life seems to have settled down both at work and home. Today, I finally managed to concentrate on work for most of the day and be productive. Not knowing exactly what job I will be working on next is undermining my morale. The job I am currently sitting on warrants no more than a day a week of my time.

Having put a few pounds on these last few weeks I have dropped back to the regime that helped me loose the 60lbs in the Autumn – grapefruit for breakfast, 3 low fat yoghurts and a Tesco healthy option meal for lunch and a similar meal for tea followed by 40 minutes in the gym which accounted for just under 1000 calories (50/50 between the cross trainer and the running machine)

My goal is to get back to 15 stone by the end of the week and I guess now is as good a time as any to make that last effort to loose a further 14 lbs by Easter.

I have given up on keeping my arms and chest hair free by shaving and am letting the hair grow sufficient for me to have it waxed sometime in the next fortnight – joy of joys – I can’t wait for the pain!

Over the weekend we had the two girls home from University both with their boyfriends. Dad’s taxi service was very much in use! Friday night to London to pick up one of the girls and her boyfriend and then Sunday night the return trip. Tonight my wife took the eldest back whilst I was in the gym.

It’s amazing that when the girls were home my taxi service was 3 – 4 times a week on average 20 mile round trip. Now it seems to have changed to 2 – 3 times a term for each with a round trip of 200 miles southbound and 140 miles westbound!

I suppose it could have been worse - one at Aberdeen and the other at Plymouth!

Already looking forward to the next Northern Angels meal on the 11th, I am afraid no Emma time before then that I can see.

My mind is somewhat in turmoil at the moment over the issue of telling my wonderful wife about Emma.

Married for 26 years you would believe that you could second guess the outcome of such a confession but the risk is still there and very real.

I take heart from the couples I have met and look enviously at their relationships which have transcended the cross dressing issue. I also am very aware of the many marriages which have foundered on the very same subject.

Ultimately I guess it is something that must happen but whilst the ship is still sailing why take to the lifeboats?

I can think of nothing better than sharing some of the evenings I have out as Emma with my wife and for her to meet up with some of the great friends I have met these last few months but am also cautious as to pushing the issue if and when I tell her. I suspect softly softly will be the order of the day and it is then that I will need the help of my friends especially the wives, to give insight and perhaps guidance to my wife in those first few weeks.

The question also arises as to the modus operandi? I believe that to get my feelings across and be informative and sincere I may have to resort to a letter. I know in such a delivery that I will be able to cover all the issues in an order that doesn’t overwhelm whilst if I try and explain face to face I am not sure I will be as coherent or logical and as such fail to get across the message – I am still who you married, I have not grown an extra head, I don’t want to live as a woman, I don’t want a sex change, my time as Emma will be 1 – 2 times a month, I don’t expect to dress in the house, Emma will not be appearing in the bedroom etc., etc.

Anyhow, that’s still in the future.


No comments:

Post a Comment