Monday, 6 April 2009

Backwards In Heels – A night of Dancing (part 1)

Wow! What can I say! Lots according to all my friends!

Only my second outing as Emma on a Saturday started with my case and overnight bag packed in the boot of the car and nervously waiting my wife’s return after having used the car to run our daughter’s boyfriend home and picking up some cash for my weekend away “at my mate’s stag do in Manchester!”

Waving goodbye, I must admit to pangs of guilt as to having told yet another lie as to my true intentions, I parked up in town and darted over to Roman Originals to pick up my new animal print jacket. Luckily no one in the shop knew me and I also managed to get back to the car without bumping into anyone else.

On the road, the adrenalin coursing through my veins I drove up to Mandy’s arriving short of midday. A cup of tea and bacon and egg butty later, we departed via the local Asda where I picked up a pair of ladies sunglasses for when I’m driving and then on into Manchester.

We arrived at where the car park was supposed to be but couldn’t initially see it until Mandy pointed out the huge letters NCP in bright yellow on the side of the building we were approaching. That’ll be the car park then I noted!

Out of the car park on a 50:50 decision, we of course chose the wrong direction initially until we realised our error and then found our way to The Atrium where we were booked in for the night.

Wow again. I was over the moon about the apartment. One bedroom with twin beds, a large living room and dining room fully equipped and more importantly – plenty of mirrors!

By now, we were under pressure for time as we were picking up Tina from a pub car park near to where she lives at 4ish and it was now past 2-30pm. Whilst Mandy put on her face first, I always dress first. I had already an idea in mind as to my overall outfit this being my tight stretch jeans tucked into knee high boots with stiletto heels and a suitable top. The top I chose was one I had recently purchased on e-bay and looked great.

Face on, wig in place but no time for my nails we were ready together and with a spray of perfume, grabbed my jacket and made our way to the lift.

Our first attempt to get to the ground floor failed miserably and as the door opened on the 1st floor, a cleaner was waiting to go up! Finally we got to the ground floor to walk into a family waiting to go up! – Talk about baptism of fire!

Strolling out through the concourse, heels tapping, there was no one on reception but the foyer was full of guests coming and going.

Outside we made our way round the corner to the car park only to run into a gang of young girls! To say we were s….ing bricks is probably an understatement however as I had told Mandy before setting out – if in doubt tits out, arse out, eyes level, head high and full speed ahead!

Once in the car and having paid the £5.20 extortionate fee for less than 2 hours! We made our way through the city and out to pick Tina up which after a typical blonde moment on the slip onto the motorway when I almost ended up in a bus lane and had to let a gentleman driver behind me let me back in, we picked Tina up.

Back at the apartment, whilst waiting for Tina to get ready, we cracked open a bottle of champagne and tucked into a Melton Mowbray pork pie – now that’s what I call a classy start to the day!

By the time Tina was ready and with my nails painted etc, it was now past 6pm and so we made our way out and into the village where we mingled with a good cross section of the public on our way to the Taurus bar where we had a quiet drink – well it would have been had we not attracted the attention of a guy (from Salford – with his boyfriend) who insisted on chatting us up despite me accidentally elbowing him twice as he leaned over towards our table.

Despite our best endeavours from the book of The Art Of Wit And Repartee, such as f…off, he obviously couldn’t take a hint and christened me a “gobby slut”, Tina a “slut” and Mandy “sophisticated”! Well I say! I mean! I can’t believe he had the nerve to call me gobby! Anyway, all good things must come to an end and we “reluctantly” made our way back to the apartment to get changed into our party frocks for the dancing. (next instalment to follow soon)

Emma xxx


  1. Emma you minx compared to this Sparkle will be a doddle (along with telling your wife!)

  2. Can't wait for the next bit !
    can't believe it, the post a comment word is noliv....